Dear Wonderfully Made Friends,
Riley had some money that he had gotten from the tooth fairy...and we all know that money burns holes in our pockets- right?! Well at a family reunion auction he bid it all away on a basket full of candy! Some would say that is a good way to spend it...but he found out a few days later when he wanted a Hot Wheels semi truck that he wished he would have saved his money! Well, we talked about it and lesson learned, he knows that he should be more careful on what he spends his money on. He realized what he thought he wanted - the candy - was not what he truly wanted (or needed for that matter) in the long run.
I was just thinking about the same thing for myself. I was thinking about how far God has brought me this last decade and how he helped me grow in my thoughts and my desires. What I thought I wanted and downright needed in order to survive several years ago, I have recently realized that it is not at all what I needed and that God had better things in store for me. I have also been able to face temptations with those same old desires and fight back with the strength of Christ; again making me excited about how far God has brought me!
When we face things that seem like they are exactly what we want & need, make sure to take it to Christ first. Pray about it. Have Christ speak to your heart and to help you know what it is that you truly need at the time. Pray that He helps keep you strong in the face of misleading desires and moves you forward into better things! Remember that you are more than a conqueror in Christ and that you are able to stay free from the traps that the enemy lays for you- so when he tells you that you need the candy now- remind him that Christ has bigger plans for you and you are pressing on in the power of Christ!
Love,
Christina Gail
Saturday, July 20, 2013
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
Not Number 2
Dear Wonderfully Made Friends,
I hope you are doing well today and counting your blessings instead of focusing on the faults in your life. It can make life more joyful to focus on the positive...just saying.
But this is not what I wanted to talk about today. I want to talk about how I want to punch the devil right in the face. Sorry, sometimes this 5 foot blonde can be filled with fury! This is a righteous anger though! I am tired of the bondage that he has on those that I love and I am going to break that bondage and grip he has on them....I guess not with a punch in the face- seeing as how first of all I cannot actually see him, but second of all I do not want to hurt my painting hand :P because I am very thankful for that new gift God has blessed me with. But no, I am going to destroy the devil with powerful prayers sent to a powerful God who delivers when I pray without doubt. When I pray believing- the word promises that my prayers will be answered!
One of the things that has a grip on too many that I love...and one that I fight often is insecurity. (I know I mention this almost in all my post, but again, I feel like it is a root to so many problems in so many lives- that feeling of unworthiness causes so much hurt and pain, as well as causes us to stumble into so many pits of darkness. Insecurity creates a negative mindset that is blinded- unable to see the truth- and therefore causes us to make too many mistakes...exhibit A: me marrying the completely wrong man over 10 years ago- a mistake that even though I wised up and left him when the boys were babies, the three of us still have to pay for that past mistake made when I was blinded with the feeling of unworthiness.)
I know God has been building me up in my faith and confidence over the last decade, and I am excited to look back and see how far I have come through the strength of Christ, but from time to time the trap is laid, and I get caught up in it again. Recently, I once again begin to doubt my worth.
I grew up always being jealous of my beautiful sisters and friends. I always felt like I was never good enough, never a guys first choice. I was always number 2...or much, much further down the list really. I felt like I was always the ugly duckling of the group. This continued on into college and even my adult life when my single friends and I would go out...men always looked their way...never mine. I'm too short, I'm too fat, I'm too plain (still have no idea how to wear make up and just don't even bother doing much with my hair most the time....lol), I'm to white (and now allergic to the sun, so no hope there...lol), I don't know how to dress right, I'm too annoying with my rambling ADHD self...and the list went on and on in my head for most of my life.
It has not helped that I have not even really been asked out on a date in over a decade; therefore I fear that I am either invisible to the opposite sex, or I am hideously unattractive to men! But...God has been gently working with my heart and mind to help me grow & learn and understand that He has perfect plans for me and I just need to trust that He knows what He is doing in the matchmaking business and I just need to let Him do His thing! Here are some things He has been teaching me, whether through reading His word, through sermons, through talks with friends, and more.
First of all-
Do not ever let anyone make you feel like you are number two on their list. If a man does not treat you like you are the most beautiful, special treasure in his life, that move on! I love this quote in one of my favorite Karen Kingsburry books, "A man should pursue you like a dying man pursues water in a desert." The man you are with, the man you are going to marry, should love you like Christ loves the church. You don't need to be with a man who treats you like he is just with you while he is in the waiting room of -something better is coming along.
I hope you are doing well today and counting your blessings instead of focusing on the faults in your life. It can make life more joyful to focus on the positive...just saying.
But this is not what I wanted to talk about today. I want to talk about how I want to punch the devil right in the face. Sorry, sometimes this 5 foot blonde can be filled with fury! This is a righteous anger though! I am tired of the bondage that he has on those that I love and I am going to break that bondage and grip he has on them....I guess not with a punch in the face- seeing as how first of all I cannot actually see him, but second of all I do not want to hurt my painting hand :P because I am very thankful for that new gift God has blessed me with. But no, I am going to destroy the devil with powerful prayers sent to a powerful God who delivers when I pray without doubt. When I pray believing- the word promises that my prayers will be answered!
One of the things that has a grip on too many that I love...and one that I fight often is insecurity. (I know I mention this almost in all my post, but again, I feel like it is a root to so many problems in so many lives- that feeling of unworthiness causes so much hurt and pain, as well as causes us to stumble into so many pits of darkness. Insecurity creates a negative mindset that is blinded- unable to see the truth- and therefore causes us to make too many mistakes...exhibit A: me marrying the completely wrong man over 10 years ago- a mistake that even though I wised up and left him when the boys were babies, the three of us still have to pay for that past mistake made when I was blinded with the feeling of unworthiness.)
I know God has been building me up in my faith and confidence over the last decade, and I am excited to look back and see how far I have come through the strength of Christ, but from time to time the trap is laid, and I get caught up in it again. Recently, I once again begin to doubt my worth.
I grew up always being jealous of my beautiful sisters and friends. I always felt like I was never good enough, never a guys first choice. I was always number 2...or much, much further down the list really. I felt like I was always the ugly duckling of the group. This continued on into college and even my adult life when my single friends and I would go out...men always looked their way...never mine. I'm too short, I'm too fat, I'm too plain (still have no idea how to wear make up and just don't even bother doing much with my hair most the time....lol), I'm to white (and now allergic to the sun, so no hope there...lol), I don't know how to dress right, I'm too annoying with my rambling ADHD self...and the list went on and on in my head for most of my life.
It has not helped that I have not even really been asked out on a date in over a decade; therefore I fear that I am either invisible to the opposite sex, or I am hideously unattractive to men! But...God has been gently working with my heart and mind to help me grow & learn and understand that He has perfect plans for me and I just need to trust that He knows what He is doing in the matchmaking business and I just need to let Him do His thing! Here are some things He has been teaching me, whether through reading His word, through sermons, through talks with friends, and more.
First of all-
GOD DOES NOT SEE YOU AS NUMBER 2,
HE SEES FAR MORE WORTH THAN THAT IN YOU!
Do not ever let anyone make you feel like you are number two on their list. If a man does not treat you like you are the most beautiful, special treasure in his life, that move on! I love this quote in one of my favorite Karen Kingsburry books, "A man should pursue you like a dying man pursues water in a desert." The man you are with, the man you are going to marry, should love you like Christ loves the church. You don't need to be with a man who treats you like he is just with you while he is in the waiting room of -something better is coming along.
YOU ARE FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE BY AN AWESOME GOD WHO LOVES YOU ABUNDANTLY- BELIEVE THAT AND DON'T LET ANYONE MAKE YOU FEEL LESS THAN WHAT YOU ARE WORTH IN THE EYES OF GOD!
I have also learned that I do not need to be just dating to date while I am in the waiting room of - God has perfect plans for me. He will bring the right man into my life at just the right time. I have realized that I am actually- most of the time...lol..I still like to throw a bit of a tantrum about the subject from time to time if I am being honest...lol, but I have come to be thankful that I have not had a lot of men (well none, but still...no bitterness there...lol) ask me out. I know now that I don't need to jump full on into the pond and kiss a bunch of toads looking for a prince. I don't even need a prince; I need a man of God- a man that will not just get on a knee one time to ask me to marry him, but a man that will stay on his knees daily in prayer for our family!
But here is the latest lesson learned of this whole-not number 2- thing that God has been teaching me. I was blessed with some time with a great life-long friend last night, and we had an awesome talk (one that I hope I did not do the whole " conversation domination" thing...lol..I love that by the way friend! But if you know me...yeah I probably did, and again, I am sorry friend!)
Anyways one thing that she said that I just love is something like this- I am not just Christina Waiting on a Man. That is not what my life is about! God is doing other things in my life during these years without a man in my life. (I also loved this statement because it sounds like something my 2 year old niece just said. My sister and her husband were trying to teach her full name to her. Then they were talking about their full names and she said for her dad it was, "Daddy Shooting Groundhogs" & for her mom it was "Mommy Baby in the Belly" because it was right before baby sissy was born.) So when my awesome friend Renee said I am not ,Christina Waiting on a Man- I thought it fit perfect! God is doing so many amazing things in my life right now & I am so blessed! I am to focus on what God is doing now even while I am in the waiting room of the big plans he has in the romance department!
Here was the real powerful thing that she said though, I am number 2 not because men have put me there, but because I have chosen to put myself there! I have the choice- even if a man tries to treat me like I am less than worthy of love- I don't have to accept that! But truly all these years, I have been the one that moved my ranking down on the list daily as I fought against the reflection in the mirror as I stared it down with blinded eyes and begin to find the flaws and believe the lies of the enemy. I chose to cower against the critical attacks and accept the insecurity like a gift that I never gave away...until now!
I AM A CHILD OF GOD CREATED IN HIS IMAGE-
THEREFORE I HAVE ROCKIN' AWESOME GENETICS
AND WHEN I LOOK IN THE MIRROR THAT IS WHAT I NEED TO SEE!
This is what I choose to believe! and I will fight the devil until my last breath to make sure that all my loved ones and everyone God brings into my path believe this truth as well. Because when we walk forward in the confidence of Christ- His great plans begin to unfold into our lives! That is what I choose for myself and that is what I want for you as well! So remember this:
YOU ARE NOT NUMBER 2
& YOU NEED TO WALK IN CONFIDENCE-
BELIEVING THAT GOD HAS POWERFUL THINGS IN STORE FOR YOU!
DO NOT CHOOSE TO MAKE A LIST OF FAULTS AND RANK YOURSELF LOW-
WALK IN THE LIGHT OF CHRIST LISTENING TO HIS TRUTH ABOUT YOU
AND LET THAT BRING YOU A DAILY GLOW-
ONE THAT WILL MAKE YOU STAND OUT ABOVE ALL
NOT JUST TO BRING YOU THE ATTENTION OF LOTS OF MEN-
BUT TO FIND THE RIGHT ONE- GOD'S BEST- ONE WORTH WAITING FOR HIS CALL.
BUT WHILE IN THE WAITING ROOM-
CONTINUE TO PRAISE GOD- NOT FOCUSING ON ALL THE WRONG
OR THAT YOUR LOVE LIFE IS FULL OF DOOM AND GLOOM.
HE HAS PLANS FOR YOU AND YOU ALONE TODAY
IF YOU WOULD SEE THAT JESUS IS NEXT TO YOU IN THAT REFLECTION-
THIS IS WHAT YOU WOULD HEAR HIM SAY-
YOU ARE WONDERFULLY MADE BY ME-
SO SEE IN YOURSELF WHAT I ALWAYS SEE!
Have a blessed week and know that you are loved and that you are more than a conqueror in Christ Jesus and you can kick this insecurity out of your life and move forward in greatness!
Love,
Christina Gail
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