On a lighter note...

Just For Fun:
I created a Help Wanted Ad...

HELP WANTED

I am a fast-talkin, flip-flop wearin, sweet-tea drinkin, chocolate lovin, blonde-haired, fun-sized kind of girl looking for help!! Please respond if you can provide any of the following services and/or meet any of the following criteria. The pay is minimal, but tasty...you will be working for Oreo Bon Bon's.
You can call me at 1-800-SHORTIE. Or reach me via email: dateadork.com

MAID: I am a very busy single mom of two boys = a messy apartment. I need help! The apartment is small; therefore, you must have good organizational skills in order to make things work. Must enjoy a variety of smells (I have two boys in the house, and I have learned...boys are gross) Also, is in strong support against the fight to destroy all ants! (Apparently this apartment is built on top of the central ant command station to all ants in the universe). And must figure out a better way to put away laundry as opposed to our "throw it anywhere" system!

HAIR STYLIST: Don't you just hate how you can never fix your hair the way they do at the salon!! I just got my hair cut, with side bangs, and I'm in the process of "training" them! And besides...I just love to have my hair played with!! So as long as you don't pull...you're hired!

MAKE-UP ARTIST: I am 32 and have yet to figure the stuff out!! I even panic when I walk down the make-up isle in the store. I am often told I look like a teenager...although even teenage girls know how to wear make-up. I would like to look like a professional woman please, yet still a very natural look...no throw back to the 80's bright colors or anything! (and I don't miss huge hot pink and lime green scrunchies and teased bangs with enough hair spray at one time to destroy the ozone layer for all eternity...just another note for the person applying for the hair stylist job)

BUSINESS MANAGER: First of all, the most important aspect of this job would be handling my bank account...because I am a blonde that likes to bounce more than Tigger! OK, not that I like to bounce my account, it really upsets me and I try (somewhat, although trying probably means actually keeping track and checking on it), but I do want to do well with my account and money, but math is my weakness. I have finally realized why I subconsciously wear flip flops all the time...I need those toes out in the open to give me ten extra digits to help with the adding!
Also, any other paper work that is required for life and my job--will be all your responsibility because...I JUST DON'T LIKE IT!

PERSONAL TRAINER:I need someone to help me to put the Oreos down! Trainer must be tough, but also kind when I need it as well. Must be hot...hey it defiantly helps when a hot trainer has to do a body fat pinch!! I found this out when I actually had a trainer years ago. He said every two weeks he would do a body fat pinch. I said, "What is that?" He said, "Just like it sounds, I pinch your fat." If you have to lift your shirt, and let a hot guy pinch your fat...YOU WILL GET IT OFF FAST!

***Also seeking after a sexy, sparkling, shirtless vampire for...well do I really need to give an explanation for this one!
I would have said werewolf, cuz that kid is hot!! But, I thought of my skin-tone...and yes I would be more compatible with vampires. And, let's not forget my "Sparkling" personality!!