Oh, Merry Meatballs

Well...as if life was not cherry and grand enough...it got even better today.  Without going in to all the lovely details of life in my world...I will just say I have been barely hanging on. So I go grocery shopping at Walmart...yeah that was a smart choice, a definite mood lifter! LOL. But you know...I was trying. I sang along with an old song that came over the speakers, my mood began to lift. I had two quick but cheerful conversations with strangers and my mood began to lift. I ran in to an old student whom I love dearly- and again sunshine was returning. I was thinking of my awesome boys and some sweet treats we can make together and get back to enjoying life; which somehow caused a high grocery bill with only a few meats and a whole lot of sweets!
But then it happened....

I was in a hurry in the parking lot because it started raining pretty hard and people were waiting for my spot...let's see if you can make some predictions of what happens next...I will give you a minute...

Well...I was just chucking those bags of goodies in the car and trying to get out of the way. By rushing, I was being considerate of those and also- trying to get in the dry car quickly!
To my joyful surprise, when I opened my back door to get the groceries out- my back floor was no longer the light tan carpet- it was now Ocean Marinara!

Yes, the glass jar of spaghetti sauce was now broken and all over the back floor of my car! And of course it was not the cheap jar, it was the more expensive jar that I was excited to try!
It covered most of the other bags and also my son's very expensive big Lego book...you know because that is where it belongs- on the back floor of the car!  And it was so fun to clean out in the rain!
This was just the icing on the cake! It was the cherry on top of the sundae! Or in this case, it was the meatball on top of the spaghetti!
So, what do you say- STUFF HAPPENS!
As ill and grumpy as I have,been, still gotta keep that phrase G rated!
Here's the thing- stuff does happen....bad stuff...and it can really bring you down.
But here's the more important thing- if this stuff happens and you don't know Jesus as your personal Savior- then it just leaves you hopeless.

With Jesus- there is HOPE!

No matter what you face today- crappy moments of marinara explosion or.....more serious circumstances...you have to know that you don't walk alone.  And if you really focus and look at the bright side, there are those times that things come along in life and bring you joy- those are just little gifts from God. I heard this once at a women's conference- they are kisses from God!  I love this!  God is there in all are merry meatball moments! You know the moments when you ask, can life get any more miserable?!  God is there! He may not actually clean up the marinara mess....but he can give you the strength to do it, he can wipe your tears after crying over it, he can restore joy and allow you to lift your hands and sing praise even when your hands are dripping with red sauce- he can erase those stains and restore your life!  And along the way- he whispers his love to you with reminders of verses and promises, he sends supportive family and friends to cheer you up and helps you dance in the rain with a favorite song. He also gives you those moments, those reminders to laugh with your kids while looking at those Can You See What I See? books and having a hard time finding those objects while pointing out all the wrong things and....just being silly...I love those sweet, silly moments!  I am blessed with millions more of those than those "my life is a mess" moments...if I just stop and realize it...

He blesses you, loves you, cares for you, protects you, lifts you up, shakes of the saucy mess, and allows you to keep on going!  So seek him today and he will bring more comfort than spaghetti and meatballs-or any other comfort food that you search for after a lousy day!

Oh, and the other good (much less important, but still good) news is that the bag of marshmallows did not bare the wrath of the red sauce and they are OK so...I was able to make these yummy snacks: marshmallows dipped in caramel and chocolate on a stick! So..its all good people!!  Found this recipe on Pinterest....yeah, what did we ever do before Pinterest came along? LOL.

Conqueror!

Down in the dark, the trench, the abyss-
Life is chaotic, overwhelming, I feel clueless.
I don't know which way to go, which way to head-
I feel like a zombie- the walking dead.
The joy has been sucked from my life like a vacuum-
Everywhere I turn the signs read destruction and doom.
I don't know how to laugh anymore-
The house is a disasters- dishes piled higher than the cupboard door!
It's all too much to take-
I fear my sanity is at stake.
It's hard to take the next breath as the darkness devours
All the strength I have to survive another hour.
I have only one last hope, as I weep, I pray-
"Jesus!" WAIT....THAT IS ALL I NEED TO SAY!
"JESUS!!!!!!!!"
He shows up and picks me up from the dirt and dust!
Having Him as my Savior is an absolute must!
It is the key to not only surviving,
But giving Him my life means I will be thriving!
Releasing to Him my fears, my worry, my stress-
Allows Him to replace it with victory and success!
Not only will I no longer be dying,
But my blessings will be multiplying!
You see this is a promise from my Father above-
I am an heir to His throne, my God who is full of unconditional love!
We have more than we need with Jesus in our lives-
Those dark ditches no longer can bear down on us weight and strife!
He will restore my peace, my strength, my joy!
I can no longer be manipulated like the devil's toy.
I can shout powerful prayers and praise-
As His mighty hands grab me out of the deep- my life he does raise!
Because the same power that raised Christ from the dead on the third day-
Is the one that lives in me and allows me to say-
I AM MORE THAN A CONQUEROR THROUGH CHRIST!
So whatever you face you must know-
You are a winner with Jesus and through your life His glory will show!

Duck Tape Needed!

Does anyone have any duck tape? I need it for my mouth! Now, those of you that know me, yes this may seem funny because I never stop talking...but...I actually mean it for not just the fact that I can't stop talking...it is what I am saying....

This painting that I recently did will help set the stage for this lesson:

I have not been doing well with this lately...
I have been Debbie Down, I have been very negative, I have been yelling, screaming, fussing, fighting, speaking "I can'ts" into my life, daddy bashing, slang word slingin', mumbling, grumbling....and it goes on and on....
and on...and on...and on and on....like I said- I TALK WAY TOO MUCH!

Which would be OK (well in my book...lol...) if it was the old Christina who was much more positive, funny (the funniest- again in my book...lol), friendly, outgoing, social, upbeat....but...it has not been that way for awhile :(

So this is my new daily prayer...well let's face it- HOURLY- prayer, and it comes from the lyrics of one of my friend's songs:

"When I open my eyes, let your light shine. 

WHEN I OPEN MY MOUTH- LET YOUR WORDS COME OUT!"

Help me Lord to speak positively!  Help me speak your promises not only into my life, but also into the lives of others...even...yes even the lives of my enemies!! (well really only one enemy, but with that one- I REALLY NEED YOUR HELP! This is in reference to the whole daddy bashing thing for those who do not know me)  Help me Lord to be uplifting and encouraging.  Help me speak with faith and make mountains move!  Help me inspire others with my words!  Help me share love with my words! Help me to give you glory with everything that comes out of my mouth!  Help me to build confidence in our young generations with my words!  Help me to make new friends with my words and not loose the ones I already have because of my bitter self lately!  Help me to teach my children about you with my words!  Help me to show the fruits of the Spirit with my words!  Help me to bring joy to my family's lives and others with my words!  HELP ME WITH MY MOUTH LORD! HELP ME THINK BEFORE I SPEAK! IN JESUS NAME!

If Jesus can teach this blabber mouth blonde to use her brain before she blurts- then...there is hope for us all :)  Just remember...if you are struggling with this as much as I have been...."there is no condemnation in Christ", so ask for forgiveness- AND MOVE ON- PRAYING FOR HIS HELP!  Know that we are "daily being transformed into the image of Christ!" So be thankful He is still working on us and loves us even with our messed up mouths!  He also loves us enough to challenge us and push us in the right direction! Therefore, keep this in mind, "I can do ALL things through CHRIST who gives me STRENGTH!". 

P.S. Go to iTunes and check out that awesome song from my friend: "Take Control" by Devin Williams

Shaken

What do you do when your faith is shaken?

You PRAY and PRESS ON! And a FAITHFUL FATHER will answer your cry by wrapping His loving arms around you and picking you up so you can persevere!
You seek after Him anyways with all your heart and you WILL find Him! (Jeremiah 29:13)
You cry out the powerful name of Jesus and He comes to replace your overwhelming stress with an abundance of peace.  He comes to give you your next breath when you are hyperventilating; your next step when you are too weary to walk! He is real and He is there for you!

I have been very overwhelmed and exhausted this last few weeks, ready to run away and be done. I just feel completely drained. Walking is definitely not an option, I can barely crawl at this point. The worst part is I feel like I have nothing left to give to my boys. I can't even tuck them in bed, do devotions, say prayers, give secret handshakes like we do every night because I'm crawling in bed first! I have no energy and no fight left....and last night it caused me to cry out, "WHERE ARE YOU GOD? Are you really there?"

Why am I struggling so much? Why are panic attacks coming more frequently? Why are so many that I love lost and hurting? Why is a beautiful family being attacked with the devastation of a disease? Why can I not come home and speak to my children the way I really want to? Why am I screaming at them when they are innocent and need a mom who has it altogether? Why has the maid not cleaned this place up yet?! (Oh, ya..I can't afford one)  Why can I not laugh anymore? (I used to be the blonde who told the best blonde jokes! Although, I must give credit to my awesome grandpa for most of those! I used to be the life of the party! I used to laugh!) Why am I so negative all the time now? Why am I all alone?

I feel like I am in this completely alone! I cannot move home unless I win the lottery to hire a lawyer to fight to be close to my family. And God you still have not brought a husband (or even a date) into the picture.  Why have you not sent and strong man of God into our lives? Why have you not sent us someone who can help us get a home so the boys can have a large yard to run in and be boys! Someone who can help pay these bills because not only do I not have the money to pay them most of the time, I don't have the energy to even care to get them paid!  I can continue to vent..I can go off big time about the ex and his complete lack of support for his children, but I will not..let's get to the good stuff!  Let's get to where God finds me in the darkness and destroys its grip on my mind with His mighty, powerful hands! Let's get to the part where He reminds me I am not alone!

You see..God is real..and I know this because He has faithfully shown up in my life more times and in more ways than I can count! He has faithfully answered my cries with compassion, my pleas with promises, my poverty with power, my confusion with clarity, my worry with wisdom, and my hurt with healing!

He has shown His love, His presence, His answers, His power, His strength, His grace, His peace, and His joy again and again...He has also shown that He is not shaken by anything that happens in my life- IT DOES NOT CATCH GOD OFF GUARD AND HE HAS A PLAN!

One of the sweetest ways Jesus has responded to my desperate desires to find the answers to all my whys- is by whispering scriptures/promises to me. More than once in the mists of my mess the Holy Spirit has laid a verse on my heart, and still- with some doubt in my heart, I would find my Bible and look it up, only to be left weeping..this time for thankfulness; He has once again shown up and drawn me into His strong shelter ready to stabilize me and push me forward with strength!

Last night it was Psalm 13:

O Lord, how long will you forget me? Forever?

How long will you look the other way?

How long must I struggle with anguish in my soul, with sorrow in my heart every day?

How long will my enemy have the upper hand?

Turn and answer me, O Lord my God!

Restore the sparkle to my eyes, or I will die.

Don't let my enemies gloat, saying, "we have defeated him!"

Don't let them rejoice at my downfall.

But I trust in your unfailing love.

I will rejoice because you have rescued me.

I will sing to the Lord because He is good to me.

I know God is faithful and He shows up with power when I am weak and He kicks butt and puts the enemy back in his place!  When all hope is lost- I remember Jesus paid the cost! I remember I am an heir to the Kingdom of God and with that comes- well..everything!  All power! All peace! Everything I need to persevere! 

THANK YOU LORD!