Do you ever just feel like giving up, and find yourself asking, "What's the point?"
Well that is where I am at today....
Even as I type this, I am hoping that by the end of my therapy session (typing and writing are therapy for me) I figure out what the point is; the scary thing may be...what if I don't?
That is just where I am at today...sorry.
What is the point of dieting?? I apparently have the body type that has to take drastic measures to become thin and I don't want to spend my whole life dieting...I love to cook and bake, and I am good at it, and I love food...
I mean, why can't I just eat a whole bag of powdered sugar doughnuts, and call it therapy, and it not go straight to my waist! What's the point of even trying if I am never going to be a supermodel?? I mean for starters I think they have a height requirement...and I come out a lil' shy of the right footage. Anyways, also, because I am short, any little bit of weight shows up even more, and right now I just feel like a short, fat tree stump. So, what's the point of trying to loose weight?
Now on to other things bothering me...hope you are ready for an endless ranting and rambling session...lol.
What is the point of working hard or getting a college education when you make no money and have to count out 200 pennies to get together $2 for a son's field trip?
What's the point of having hope for love, when love seems to be as lost as the city of Atlantis?
What's the point of cleaning....don't even need to finish that one...ya'll know!
And...I am also going through a rough time with the boys. I feel like no matter how hard I try, I am a horrible mother, and just can't do things right. I have two awesome, funny, lovable, talented boys...but why do they not listen to me. Why do they keep getting in trouble at school (yes mostly for talking and well....that's bad genetics.) but, today my youngest slapped a girl (he said it was because she slapped him...but that is no excuse!) I am just at my wits end. How do you raise two amazing, Godly young men as a single mom? How do you battle them going over to a father's house every other weekend that thinks he is perfect and above the law and pretty much above God himself, and who never puts the boys safety or best interest as a priority in life? How do you combat/deal with ADHD in your son, when you yourself have it, which only causes you both to but heads!
Ahhhhhhhh....mmmmmmmm.....hold on...I am taking a deep breath....
Thank you Lord...
Wow...I love that when you seek and ask....HE IS THERE....
So...here it is...His answer/His question to me...this literally just came to me during that quick breath...
"WHAT IS THE POINT OF WORRYING, AND BEING ANXIOUS,AND BEING CONFUSED, AND STRESSED WHEN I HAVE IT ALL UNDER CONTROL????"
You are an amazing friend, mother, writer, oreo bon bon maker, and encourager. Especially the bon bon maker lol... I love you so much and I couldnt imagine my life without you in it. You are a kiss from God, A breath of fresh air when I'm down, and did I mention an awesome oreo bon bon maker lol. You are beautiful in every way my friend... Tina
ReplyDeletewow, very powerful & beautifully written. It sure doesn't make sense why we keep beating ourselves up when we know He has it all worked out for us and never lets us down. Thanks for this inspiration. Love you!
ReplyDeleteVery honest and powerful post! God loves it when we are honest with Him! The more trials we are going through gives Him more of a chance to SHINE!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your comments! These are very encouraging! I have still being going through this rough patch...but I know and believe that God has a plan for my life, and He will pull me through, and I will come out better person...He is daily forming me even closer to His likeness..teaching me and allowing me to grow. I am forever thankful for His abundant blessings and for the work He is doing in me! Thank you for reading :) May you all have a blessed day in Christ!
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