Me & My Big Fat Mouth

Dear Wonderfully Made Friends,

This is another time when I am writing and not sure where the path will go...I have some things on my mind...that is silly to say when my over-active mind is always running at warp speed, but there are a few specific things on my mind that I am dealing with and praying about. I am also very, very tired for a lot of reasons, so really...who knows where this will go...but lets take a journey together shall we?!

Then main thing that I am praying about (as far as personally) is for my big fat mouth and my messed up mind! If you know me, you know I talk...best word to put here I guess would have to be NONSTOP! Yes, even in my sleep! My mind and mouth keep going and going and going and definitely outlast the energizer bunny!  But what I am praying about is not so much that I will stop talking so much- although I am sure that is the daily prayer of all my awesome family and friends; however it is focused more on what specifically is coming out of my mouth! This is the verse I have been repeating and praying,

Psalm 19:14
May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.

For the sake of not typing for hundreds of pages, we will stay away from my mind issues for a bit and just focus on the mouth- yes that is a big enough problem :p 

I do not like the words that have been coming out of my mouth lately...and they need to be worked on or shut down! If you can't say anything nice.....you know the rest! I just feel like this last few years my mouth has become more and more negative, critical, degrading, crushing, hurtful, backstabbing, cynical, sarcastic (and not in the not Chandler Bing funny kind of way like I normally am, but in a more negative way) judgmental, whiny, etc....AND IT MUST STOP NOW!  

I know this is not who I am...I have always been more of a bubbly, sunshine, positive person (well at least I think and hope....I suppose you could insert your opinion here on that...lol). But not this last few years. I have grown in so many ways over this decade (and no not vertically obviously) but God has been developing my character and Christ-like qualities a lot lately. But in the area of the endless ramblings that run wild and free from my mouth- I have digressed...I have begun to notice more and more things come out that as I "step to the side" and view myself...I don't like. 

Lord help me!!!!  When it comes to fixing/changing ourselves, we cannot do this in our own strength. I have been listening to several of Joyce Meyers teachings and she was just talking about this.  We must call out to Jesus. We must pray and ask the Holy Spirit to help us or as we continue to try in our our strength we will continue to fail.  So...Lord, I need you to strap some duck tape on my mouth until the darkness is destroyed and cleansed- until only things that are rooted in the love of Christ are coming from my mouth!

We are to build each other up! We are to encourage one another! We are to help each other grow closer to Christ! So I know it is long past time for me to check myself before I wreck myself...and yes I just went there...I told you I was tired right?! LOL. It is time for me to call out to Christ and ask Him to help me get control of my words! Because not only am I wrecking myself...but I could truly be destroying others- and that causes me much pain and sorrow to think I have done that to anyone.  Again, I know that is not who I am.  And...not only am I destroying myself and others with my words...I am displaying a negative image of the Christ I claim to serve! I proudly display scripture verses on my Facebook page and talk about Christ often...yet out of the same mouth has been all this negative, dark garbage coming out- this is what turns so many away from Christ- those who say they are Christians, yet do not show the love of Christ with their words and actions. 

So, my prayer is for Christ to reboot my brain - switch back on the positive mode- so that positive results flow freely from my mouth! That way even when I am endlessly rambling- you still gotta love me :p  And if this is something you struggle with as well...let us pray together for each other!

Let me again emphasize we cannot do this on our own- we need Jesus! I know I need to call out to Him daily- honestly hourly- to get this mess cleaned up! I need His help- and He is ready to give it :) 

I also need to get more into His word. I want to be so full of His amazing truths and promises that this is what comes overflowing from my mouth. I want my Big Fat Mouth to be full of Big Fat Blessings from God! And as I speak to and of others- may it only be in a way that blesses them!

Below are some other scriptures that are good for Big Fat Mouths like mine- I think I will be posting these all around as reminders! I will just put the place to find them so you can go and seek after God in your own quiet time and write these words upon your heart!

 *And these are just some I thought of/found- I love His word and there are so many powerful promises in there! I may go back and add more later...but I am actually going to head to bed, but if you google or go to http://www.biblegateway.com and of course pick up your personal Bible and search for verses on the tongue, seeking God, help from God, ect...you will find so many!  Our tongues can be tricky, but I serve a very powerful God who can tame even the busiest of tongues :) 

- James 3                                           -Psalm 22:19

- Psalm 16:9                                       -Psalm 28:7

-Psalm 34:13                                      -Psalm 54:4

-Psalm 35:28                                      -Hebrews 13:6

-Psalm 37:30                                      -Philip. 4:13 (my boys' fave!)

-Psalm 39:1                                        -Deuteronomy 4:29

-Proverbs 10:31                                  - Hebrews 11:6

-Proverbs 15:4                                    -Proverbs 3:5-6

-Proverbs 18:21                                  -Matthew 6:33

-Proverbs 31:28                                  -Isaiah 40-29

-1 Peter 3:10                                      -Ephesians 4:29

Let us love one another :)

Love,

Christina Gail

Happy Place

Dear Wonderfully Made Friends,

My all time favorite kids movie is Finding Nemo! There are so many awesome lines and lessons in that movie! And...Dori and I...let's just say- we could be related!
Well, I was just thinking of one of those lines from that fabulous movie,
"Find a happy place, find a happy place, find a happy place!"

I was, well...having a moment- if you will...lol.  You know a cross between a tantrum, a pity party, a rush of hormones & just a lot of mess! I am a woman, so I guess you know what I can blame it on- and it ain't the rain! (Sorry old 80's flashback to Milli Vanilli-lol) Anyways, so that phrase "Find a happy place" fit that moment.

And then I was reminded of where my happy place is...at the feet of Jesus!

When you need to find a "Happy Place" go to Jesus!
When you need to find a "Peaceful Place" go to Jesus!
When you need to find a "Restful Place" go to Jesus!
When you need to find a "Accepting Place" go to Jesus!
When you need to find a "Loving Place" go to Jesus!
When you need to find a "Guidance Place" go to Jesus!
When you need to find a "Graceful Place" go to Jesus!
When you need to find a "Joyful Place" go to Jesus!
When you need to find a - you fill it in with whatever you need and there is a one stop shop place to go! Do you get the picture! Fall at the Heavenly Father's feet and find all that you need! The best thing is- it is 100% guaranteed!  I need Him right now- desperately! I am going to go find my rest and strength in Him! I hope you seek after Him as well! It is not hard- just call on His name- He will be there!

Praying for you friends! Praying as well for all my teacher buddies out there- REMEMBER WE CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO GIVES US STRENGTH! And praying for all those wonderful children heading back into the schools- the government may have taken God out of the schools, but I will surely keep Him there! Praying that children grow & learn as well as treat each other with love & build each other up with encouragement and kindness!  I am praying the schools see amazing miracles this year in so many different ways! I pray that kids & teachers walk in Christ confidence each day!

Love,
Christina Gail

Growth

Dear Wonderfully Made Friends,

Riley had some money that he had gotten from the tooth fairy...and we all know that money burns holes in our pockets- right?! Well at a family reunion auction he bid it all away on a basket full of candy! Some would say that is a good way to spend it...but he found out a few days later when he wanted a Hot Wheels semi truck that he wished he would have saved his money!  Well, we talked about it and lesson learned, he knows that he should be more careful on what he spends his money on. He realized what he thought he wanted - the candy - was not what he truly wanted (or needed for that matter) in the long run.

I was just thinking about the same thing for myself. I was thinking about how far God has brought me this last decade and how he helped me grow in my thoughts and my desires. What I thought I wanted and downright needed in order to survive several years ago, I have recently realized that it is not at all what I needed and that God had better things in store for me.  I have also been able to face temptations with those same old desires and fight back with the strength of Christ; again making me excited about how far God has brought me!

When we face things that seem like they are exactly what we want & need, make sure to take it to Christ first. Pray about it. Have Christ speak to your heart and to help you know what it is that you truly need at the time.  Pray that He helps keep you strong in the face of misleading desires and moves you forward into better things!   Remember that you are more than a conqueror in Christ and that you are able to stay free from the traps that the enemy lays for you- so when he tells you that you need the candy now- remind him that Christ has bigger plans for you and you are pressing on in the power of Christ!

Love,
Christina Gail

Not Number 2

Dear Wonderfully Made Friends,

I hope you are doing well today and counting your blessings instead of focusing on the faults in your life. It can make life more joyful to focus on the positive...just saying.

But this is not what I wanted to talk about today. I want to talk about how I want to punch the devil right in the face.  Sorry, sometimes this 5 foot blonde can be filled with fury!  This is a righteous anger though! I am tired of the bondage that he has on those that I love and I am going to break that bondage and grip he has on them....I guess not with a punch in the face- seeing as how first of all I cannot actually see him, but second of all I do not want to hurt my painting hand :P because I am very thankful for that new gift God has blessed me with.  But no, I am going to destroy the devil with powerful prayers sent to a powerful God who delivers when I pray without doubt. When I pray believing- the word promises that my prayers will be answered!

One of the things that has a grip on too many that I love...and one that I fight often is insecurity. (I know I mention this almost in all my post, but again, I feel like it is a root to so many problems in so many lives- that feeling of unworthiness causes so much hurt and pain, as well as causes us to stumble into so many pits of darkness. Insecurity creates a negative mindset that is blinded- unable to see the truth- and therefore causes us to make too many mistakes...exhibit A: me marrying the completely wrong man over 10 years ago- a mistake that even though I wised up and left him when the boys were babies, the three of us still have to pay for that past mistake made when I was blinded with the feeling of unworthiness.)

I know God has been building me up in my faith and confidence over the last decade, and I am excited to look back and see how far I have come through the strength of Christ, but from time to time the trap is laid, and I get caught up in it again. Recently, I once again begin to doubt my worth.

I grew up always being jealous of my beautiful sisters and friends. I always felt like I was never good enough, never a guys first choice. I was always number 2...or much, much further down the list really. I felt like I was always the ugly duckling of the group.  This continued on into college and even my adult life when my single friends and I would go out...men always looked their way...never mine. I'm too short, I'm too fat, I'm too plain (still have no idea how to wear make up and just don't even bother doing much with my hair most the time....lol), I'm to white (and now allergic to the sun, so no hope there...lol), I don't know how to dress right, I'm too annoying with my rambling ADHD self...and the list went on and on in my head for most of my life. 

It has not helped that I have not even really been asked out on a date in over a decade; therefore I fear that I am either invisible to the opposite sex, or I am hideously unattractive to men!  But...God has been gently working with my heart and mind to help me grow & learn and understand that He has perfect plans for me and I just need to trust that He knows what He is doing in the matchmaking business and I just need to let Him do His thing!  Here are some things He has been teaching me, whether through reading His word, through sermons, through talks with friends, and more.

First of all-

GOD DOES NOT SEE YOU AS NUMBER 2,

HE SEES FAR MORE WORTH THAN THAT IN YOU!



Do not ever let anyone make you feel like you are number two on their list. If a man does not treat you like you are the most beautiful, special treasure in his life, that move on! I love this quote in one of my favorite Karen Kingsburry books, "A man should pursue you like a dying man pursues water in a desert." The man you are with, the man you are going to marry, should love you like Christ loves the church. You don't need to be with a man who treats you like he is just with you while he is in the waiting room of -something better is coming along.

YOU ARE FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE BY AN AWESOME GOD WHO LOVES YOU ABUNDANTLY- BELIEVE THAT AND DON'T LET ANYONE MAKE YOU FEEL LESS THAN WHAT YOU ARE WORTH IN THE EYES OF GOD!

 

 I have also learned that I do not need to be just dating to date while I am in the waiting room of - God has perfect plans for me.  He will bring the right man into my life at just the right time.  I have realized that I am actually- most of the time...lol..I still like to throw a bit of a tantrum about the subject from time to time if I am being honest...lol, but I have come to be thankful that I have not had a lot of men (well none, but still...no bitterness there...lol) ask me out.  I know now that I don't need to jump full on into the pond and kiss a bunch of toads looking for a prince.  I don't even need a prince; I need a man of God- a man that will not just get on a knee one time to ask me to marry him, but a man that will stay on his knees daily in prayer for our family!

 

 

But here is the latest lesson learned of this whole-not number 2- thing that God has been teaching me. I was blessed with some time with a great life-long friend last night, and we had an awesome talk (one that I hope I did not do the whole " conversation domination" thing...lol..I love that by the way friend! But if you know me...yeah I probably did, and again, I am sorry friend!)

Anyways one thing that she said that I just love is something like this- I am not just Christina Waiting on a Man.  That is not what my life is about! God is doing other things in my life during these years without a man in my life. (I also loved this statement because it sounds like something my 2 year old niece just said. My sister and her husband were trying to teach her full name to her. Then they were talking about their full names and she said for her dad it was, "Daddy Shooting Groundhogs" & for her mom it was "Mommy Baby in the Belly" because it was right before baby sissy was born.) So when my awesome friend Renee said I am not ,Christina Waiting on a Man- I thought it fit perfect! God is doing so many amazing things in my life right now & I am so blessed! I am to focus on what God is doing now even while I am in the waiting room of the big plans he has in the romance department!

 

Here was the real powerful thing that she said though, I am number 2 not because men have put me there, but because I have chosen to put myself there!  I have the choice- even if a man tries to treat me like I am less than worthy of love- I don't have to accept that!  But truly all these years, I have been the one that moved my ranking down on the list daily as I fought against the reflection in the mirror as I stared it down with blinded eyes and begin to find the flaws and believe the lies of the enemy. I chose to cower against the critical attacks and accept the insecurity like a gift that I never gave away...until now!

 

I AM A CHILD OF GOD CREATED IN HIS IMAGE-

THEREFORE I HAVE ROCKIN' AWESOME GENETICS

AND WHEN I LOOK IN THE MIRROR THAT IS WHAT I NEED TO SEE!

 

This is what I choose to believe! and I will fight the devil until my last breath to make sure that all my loved ones and everyone God brings into my path believe this truth as well. Because when we walk forward in the confidence of Christ- His great plans begin to unfold into our lives! That is what I choose for myself and that is what I want for you as well! So remember this:

 

YOU ARE NOT NUMBER 2

 & YOU  NEED TO WALK IN CONFIDENCE-

 BELIEVING THAT GOD  HAS POWERFUL THINGS IN STORE FOR YOU!

DO NOT CHOOSE TO MAKE A LIST OF FAULTS AND RANK YOURSELF LOW-

WALK IN THE LIGHT OF CHRIST LISTENING TO HIS TRUTH ABOUT YOU

AND LET THAT BRING YOU A DAILY GLOW-

ONE THAT WILL MAKE YOU STAND OUT ABOVE ALL

NOT JUST TO BRING YOU THE ATTENTION OF LOTS OF MEN-

BUT TO FIND THE RIGHT ONE- GOD'S BEST- ONE WORTH WAITING FOR HIS CALL.

BUT WHILE IN THE WAITING ROOM-

CONTINUE TO PRAISE GOD- NOT FOCUSING ON ALL THE WRONG

OR THAT YOUR LOVE LIFE IS FULL OF DOOM AND GLOOM.

HE HAS PLANS FOR YOU AND YOU ALONE TODAY

IF YOU WOULD SEE THAT JESUS IS NEXT TO YOU IN THAT REFLECTION-

THIS IS WHAT YOU WOULD HEAR HIM SAY-

 YOU ARE WONDERFULLY MADE BY ME-

SO SEE IN YOURSELF WHAT I ALWAYS SEE!

 

Have a blessed week and know that you are loved and that you are more than a conqueror in Christ Jesus and you can kick this insecurity out of your life and move forward in greatness!

 

Love,

Christina Gail

Emotional Buffet

Dear Wonderfully Made Friends,

It has been awhile since I have written, I hope you are doing well and your summer is off to a great start; whether you are on a vacation or still working- sunshine is always good for the soul!  Summer is my favorite time of year- flip flops on & ready to embrace the warm weather, I feel renewed and refreshed when summer rolls around.  Also in the summer, the ditch lilies are out reminding me that God creates beauty from the "ditches" we find ourselves in from time to time.  I am excited for all the new phases of God's plans for my life to unfold in this new season.

However, what frustrates me is when old seasons try to creep their way into the beautiful new seasons of life. You know, when a particular battle that you have faced before, and thought you had crushed it, destroyed it & left it behind you- suddenly stares you down once again- leaving you feeling weak; like you have failed to overcome...and possibly never will. This really puts a damper on your day, to say the least.

Battles that I have faced often, and write about often, are those of insecurity & negativism (this one more so than I ever have- this last year I feel  as though I went from Tigger to Eeyore with my mood & mindset...in fact, I actually probably made Eyore look like jolly old St. Nick with the year I had) One of the biggest battles I deal with is my racing mind- it is always all over the place which leads to confusion along with many other negative things.  Because my mind always seems to be playing tug-a-war times ten with thoughts and emotions, I fight emotional battles all too often.  Yet, I really felt that after all I have been though over the last decade, I have become such a stronger person and have gained much more control over my emotions...

But then the devil serves up and emotional buffet and invites me over for a wide variety of feelings & moods to bring darkness to my summer. This is not OK with me!  It makes me feel so weak when I fall- even if for a short time- I have come too far to have my emotions dictate my day. I have learned to much to allow my emotions to tackle the truths of God and all His promises!  I am so thankful that God allows His Sonshine to come through any dark moment in my life and send the enemy running. I am thankful that His Spirit speaks to my heart and reminds me of the powerful weapons that I have to attack the enemy and fight back. 

When the devil displays depression, anger, negativism, worry, pain, bitterness, loneliness, confusion, hate, frustration, insecurity & other mindsets of darkness that can cloud our vision and cause us to stumble away from Christ- we have to stand firm and speak the truths of our Savior into our lives. We have to turn from the bull crap buffet of the destroyer and walk into the presence of Jesus Christ and sit down at His table of truths, promises & hope!

He offers a much more appealing array of things that we need in our lives. The set up at the Saviors table includes- peace, joy, love, strength, wisdom, confidence, clarity, direction, perfect plans & hope! This is much more appealing! What God has for you is magnificent and more than you can ever imagine- so pull up a chair at His table and feast on the good things He has for you!

If you have happened to dined with the devil at his destructive buffet do NOT get discouraged & think that you are defeated! A mistake does not mean you have to set up home with the enemy. We are human and have bad days, weak moments, and periods of time that we fall into traps & pits of the king of darkness. Christ's strength is made perfect in our weakness! He is there with open arms to welcome you back to His table with a spread of supernatural, powerful, wonderful things; He is there to draw you back into His arms, pour His love out on you, and build you up again!  Fall at His feet and find forgiveness and the ability to move forward- along with the strength to stay away from satan's trickery.

I want to feast with my Father and find all that I need to override the turmoil of emotions that I face far too often. I want to soak up His presence and allow Him to provide me with the armor I need to shield off these type of attacks that leave me lost and wounded. I need to spend more time in His word to be fed the things that I need to stand firm & confidently in Christ alone.

My prayer is for Jesus to bring clarity & calmness to the emotions roaring in my mind and heart. I pray He pushes out the poisonous feelings & thoughts and replaces them with a peace that passes all understanding!  He can do this for you as well, my friends! Seek after Him, dig into His word, and pull a chair up to the table of the Faithful Father we have in Heaven that wants to fill you will good things from God!

Love,
Christina Gail

Comfort Zone = Danger Zone

Dear Wonderfully Made Friends,

Recently I have been learning so much from my Savior that I could type several pages today. I have so much on my mind, but I am going to try to stay focused and share my heart with you. Being a Christian my whole life, I am amazed at how much He is still teaching me- and so thankful for the lessons. We always have more to learn than we realize!  My faith is being strengthened and my life is being molded more into His image each day- and this is a wonderful, powerful thing!

I am addicted to the game Ruzzle. I got it one day on my iPod and play it all the time! Too much, I often practice in bed and tell myself- just one more time, but then...30 minutes later I am still going. I am always wanting to beat my own records by finding more words, finding longer words, ect.  I have been playing actual games with some friends and for the most part I am pretty good and win. But with one friend I was always losing. This did not make me very happy. Seriously! One morning at breakfast, I went to check to see if he had played because the night before- you know when I was in bed playing late into the night, I had finally gotten an awesome high score! I had thought- this is it, I have finally beaten him! I am victorious! My body was ready to shake it in a victory dance....but when the results appeared on the screen...he had won again :( 

I- as a model mother, said at the breakfast table in front of my sons- "I JUST WANT TO SLAP HIM!" Sorry my friend...but I did. Lucky for you, you are several states away...lol. I have a bit of a competitive drive in me...I like to win, to conquer, to destroy & demolish...lol...all in fun of course, but sometimes it does get the best of me.

Therefore, this crushed my spirits...OK, well that is a little dramatic, but...I did not like it one bit. I began to accept the normal pattern of losing with him; this was hard for me to do- but beating him just became an unattainable goal, so I gave in to defeat. I just played to practice, and enjoyed my other victories against other adversaries...I mean friends, lol.  (love you all!) Then, the other day I was looking at the result of what I thought would be yet another loss for this lady against the one who has always taken me down, and I noticed that...I had actually won...and had been winning the last few rounds with him! So of course I hit the little chat box ready to brag! Yes, it may be shocking, but I do have a bit of a big mouth when it comes to winning. And as I was typing it hit me...I had become so accustom to losing- it just became a comfort zone and I stopped trying for victories, I stopped looking for them, I stopped expecting great things out of my own game. It became a normal thing for me to lose against him, so I did not bother to achieve a higher status. 

I had entered the danger zone. It made me think of the true enemy of our lives- Satan.
And no, I am not comparing my friend to Satan...lol..I like my friend- even if he makes me feel like a dumb blonde with limited vocabulary and game skills...he is still pretty cool.  This just made me think of how Satan sneakily shuts our eyes to the truths that are found in our Savior- Jesus Christ! This is a tool that the Devil uses to entrap us- causing us to get in a comfort zone- tricking our mind to believe we are OK, when we are far from where our God wants us to be.

He deceives us into believing our mindset is normal, when it needs a damage control clean up by Christ.  It comes in a variety of forms: some may live in the comfort zone of a negative mindset, some may live in a comfort zone of an insecurity weakness, some may live in the mindset of defeat, some may live in the mindset of darkness, some may live in the mindset of my life is perfectly fine with out Jesus; so why do I need to find Him.

All of these and more are dangerous mindsets that if you live in it- it can become comfortable to you. And when something is comfortable, you don't want to move, or even look to move.  Like our new big, comfy chaise lounge chair that I am sitting in right now- I love this thing and hate getting out of it! It is the most comfortable chair ever!  But if I don't get out of it- things don't get done!  And if you are stuck in one of those mindsets that the Devil has blinded you with- YOU NEED TO SNAP OUT OF IT AND SEEK AFTER THE ONE THAT CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE IN SUCH POWERFUL, AMAZING, POSITIVE WAYs!

Jesus gets things done! He changes us and molds us- and all the while- pours His love out on us! He allows us to see there are better things He wants for our lives! He allows us to see the victory that we have in Him.  He can remove the blinders and allow us to see the joy, the peace, the mercy, the love, the strength, and the blessings He has for us.  We will have to step out of our comfort zones, but it is worth it- worth more than you can imagine. 

I have been caught in the comfort zone before...and not just in Ruzzle, or my awesome chair...but in the comfort of insecurity.  It was a dangerous place to be that caused years of turmoil, a horrible marriage & then a divorce- which is a mistake that my boys and I have to deal with every day, so many bad choices, so many years of missing out on better things because I was too insecure to try, so much hurt and pain every time I faced my reflection or thought about who I was as a person. Friends, I am so thankful my Heavenly Father has spent so much time, digging the roots of insecurity out of my life. This last 8 years or so on my own, Christ has been doing amazing things in my life as He has been pulling me out of that comfort zone of insecurity & showing me that I am wonderfully made in Him and He has wonderful plans for my life! It definetly has not been an easy 8 years...actually have been downright hard, challenging, painful at times...but what is coming out of these years- is something far more beautiful- A STRONG, CONFIDENT WOMAN OF GOD WITH A FAITH THAT CAN MOVE MOUNTAINS! 

So...if you my friend, are stuck in a comfort zone of some kind...I hope this is your wake up call- believe me it is easier if you find it in a friendly letter, than other ways God can use to get a hold of you...and He does it because He loves you with an unconditional and everlasting love. Please seek after the Savior- allow Him to pull you from the danger zone and place you in His loving arms- and change your life forever! Jesus loves you! Jesus has amazing things in store for your life! 

STEP INTO THE POWER ZONE OF THE ALMIGHTY GOD! Start expecting great things in your life! Start expecting victories- and get ready to dance!!!
I believe in you!

Love, 
Christina Gail

Celebrate

Dear Wonderfully Made Friends,

Spring cleaning reminds me of how much I desperately need a Savior.

I am the scum beneath the refrigerator that has not been moved and cleaned under in about 8 years. I would insert pictures to truly display what I am without Jesus; however, I do not want to scar you for life- it was pretty gross and took hours to clean!  Thankfully, with Jesus- it just takes me confessing my sins and asking for forgiveness- and He cleanses me without any brutal brushes working overtime to clean the grime! This all powerful Jesus loves me enough to forgive and forget! And I need that! I am nothing without Him! I am a sinner. I need His power to cleanse me and free me from my sins, I cannot do this on my own- just like the black, gunk under the frig does not just disappear, I had to actually move the frig and get down and dirty! Although, I really wish it had a self-clean button- it did not and I had to do the work.  My heart and mind does not have a self-clean button either- I HAVE TO CALL ON JESUS AND HAVE HIM MAKE ME PURE WITH HIS PRECIOUS BLOOD THAT HE SHED FOR ME!

This weekend we celebrated good Friday and Easter. My Jesus is alive and He loves me- that is definitely something to celebrate! Being a Christian my whole life, I do not want this message to ever become old news to me. I serve a living God! I serve a Jesus that death could not keep in the grave! I serve a Jesus that loves me enough to look past all the disgusting, dirty, built-up stains that make up my inner-most being and sees someone that is wonderfully created by Him! He sees His beloved Child.  He is willing to forgive me and make me a new creation each day! His mercies are new every morning! I am so thankful that I can fall at His feet and cry out to my Faithful Father and know that He hears me and He answers with love and grace!

This is not just good news for me. This is for you too! All of you! We all need a Savior because we are all sinners and sticky scum beneath our refrigerators- but with Jesus- we are something amazing! We can walk in freedom with Him knowing that He holds nothing against us once we come to Him and seek forgiveness. We know that we can stand in His strength.  We know that we can face our reflection with a smile because if we truly believe His words-we can begin to see what He sees in us and become a strong confident child of God. Find Him today and let Him poor His love out on you. Seek His forgiveness and allow Him to cleanse you and give you a refreshing joy- it will give you something to dance about!

This is not just a sales pitch for something that will eventually disappoint you, break down, wear out, or not work.  This is not just an advertisement for something that will give you what you need for a short time and then begin to grow dim in the light of something better that comes along.  This is not just a promotion pitch for the next best thing- IT IS THE ONLY THING YOU NEED! WITHOUT JESUS YOU HAVE NOTHING. He loves you with a love that nothing else can compare to. So seek after the Savior and find that He will forgive you of your sins and leave you with sweet freedom! JESUS IS ALL WE NEED!

Love,
Christina Gail

Spring

Dear Wonderfully Made Friends,

Spring is in the air here in eastern North Carolina! Watching the flowers come out and color the world makes this my favorite time of year.  Now for those of you who are stuck in places that winter continues to reigns...do not fret- it will pass!  

That is what I have been learning lately...seasons do pass.  If you have been reading my posts, you know that I have been facing fires for what seems like forever...but now...it does not seem like it was as big of a battle as I had thought.  It passed!  I survived! The strength of Christ carried me through.  And it strengthened my faith!  I am able to look back at the battle and see what I have learned and how it has formed me more into the image of my Father.  I learned to love more like Jesus- even when it was not a lesson I thought I needed to learn.  I am someone who loves people! I easily get along with people- the only person I have ever had a hard time loving or getting along with has been my ex-husband. And with him I made the excuse of- well he hurts & disappoints the two most important people in my life-my boys. He is not the father he needs to be; therefore it makes him hard to love. But he is the only one I have ever really had to deal with those feelings of disdain for.  So to have so many people turn against me and to be told I don't fit with a certain group- really hurt and shoved me into a deep, deserted pit of frozen cold winter ice crushing me into depression. I honestly did not see myself coming out of it either. But...I learned to forgive and let go of the hurt & pain in a new way.  I also learned to love with this new love, this Christ like love- a love that was able to face those that hung Him on a cross and say, "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do."

What I have been learning was also confirmed in the message at church today. I am going to post the video of the message on here as soon as they get it loaded.  He had us up doing Karate Kid moves! Gotta love that!  He said Daniel was frustrated & confused; he did not know why the master had him waxing cars and painting fences, but you see the master had a plan and knew what Daniel needed to do in order to learn!  I am so thankful my Master knows what I need better than I do!  I am so thankful that even though I would stay in summer year round- He knew I needed to go through that winter season to learn powerful lessons that taught me to persevere and love.  That's it- love, period.  No excuses, no if, ands, or buts about it! Just love like Jesus. 

Winter- especially to this flip-flop wearing, summer weather lovin', beach bummin' blonde- seems to last forever!  But here it is- SPRING TIME!  We made it- which means time to go buy some new flip flops :)

When we are in the mist of the messy, dead, cold, barren season- it can be hard to focus on the positive, it can be hard to see the path before us, it is hard to find the finish line when it is buried in fifty feet of snow!  When we face circumstances that seem larger than life it can be hard to find the Father- or so it seems.  But we need to continue to press in and persevere because it WILL PASS AND THE FATHER IS FAITHFULLY THERE!  And no matter what season it is- WE NEED TO PRAISE HIM! Because He uses the seasons in our lives to mold us and teach us.  

And once it does pass, it makes us that much more thankful for the spring! I am so thankful that I am now seeing the end of the struggles that have been stressing me out and causing many sleepless night. I am so thankful that seasons pass and circumstances change and we can be refreshed and renewed by an awesome, faithful Jesus who- even when we cannot see the purpose of the season and the path before us- He always can! If we seek Him in all seasons, he will guide us through!

Now...it's time to go watch the new Karate Kid with my boys :)

Love,
Christina Gail

Sweet Freedom!

Brayden and Riley were in bed the other night reading from a daily devotional book a sweet friend gave me. I love that Brayden wants to read from this each night. We have always done devotions and used a book on my iPod library, but I think it is neat that he took it upon himself to get that book out of my bag and look up verses he likes and reads them to me! Well I heard them discussing guardian angels after I tucked them in. I did not hear the whole conversation, but I heard them talking about how big and amazing they are. Then Brayden started singing to the enemy, "YOU CAN'T TOUCH THIS!" because he knows he has Jesus and the guardian angels on his side! I LOVE THIS!  Oh, yes MC Hammer said it best. LOL.

But this is so true! The enemy cannot touch us! We have a powerful God that we serve and His power lives in us! We speak his name and the enemy has to flee! We speak His truths and His promises and we pray powerful prayers and hell starts shaking! So why do we ever back away in fear and doubt?

THE ENEMY CAN'T TOUCH THIS CHILD OF GOD!

I had an amazing time alone with Jesus last night and he changed my heart and lifted weights in a way only He can do. I found sweet freedom in Him last night and I am so thankful for the weight-free walk I had today for the first time in awhile! I am ready to bust out of my skin I am so full of His joy, strength, and peace! And also- love- even for those who are against me! They know not what they do and I am able to forgive them, let go and walk in freedom- not the bondage that bitterness, unforgiving attitudes, hurt, worry, stress, negativism, doubt, and fear brings. I am able to throw those things off my back and walk away dancing and shouting praise to the one who brings this freedom- then only one that can bring this kind of freedom- and He is my faithful friend Jesus!

His freedom reigns in my life and allows me to dance with joy in the face of the darkness! It allows me to go to sleep at night on a dry pillow- not the usual tear-soaked one that I have been sleeping on  for months now.

Find your freedom today in Jesus Christ. He is our deliverer. He is our fortress. He is our strong tower. He is our place of refuge. He is our strength. He is our all in all.  You cannot and will not find everything you need in anyone else or anywhere else! Find Him and fall in love with Him- He already loves you unconditionally! Then allow Him to take whatever weight you have been carrying and SET YOU FREE!

What To Do-When In A Bad Mood

If you are in a bad mood- follow these steps below:

1. PRAY
2. PRAISE HIM

That's it. That is all that you need to do. Nothing too fancy, nothing too difficult, but...
RESULTS ARE GUARANTEED!!

I have still been dealing with some stone-throwers & fire starters as I have posted about recently and it just seems to be getting worse. I think what makes it even worse....besides that fact that I have done nothing to deserve the slaughter, is that I am such a people person. I love people! I love meeting new people, making new friends...and of course...I love TALKING to people...LOL. Because I love people- need people- I am a bit of a people pleaser too, and I have been working on that one. So this situation that has gotten completely out of hand....really, really hurts. So not only have I been crying my heart out, but now it has gotten to the point of putting me in a bad mood, and ready for this five foot blonde to fight back!

But I don't want to be in a bad mood. I am done crying over it as well! It is taking away from my life! So yesterday, while I was having a difficult time with this situation, Riley says, "you know what we need to do right now- PRAY!"

AMEN!

That is it- when you are in a bad mood- pray! And then praise God and I promise as you draw in near to Him- all else will begin to fade away!  This also works for if you're hurting, heart-broken, depressed, etc- isn't the amazing! Jesus is the cure all one to go to- THE ONLY ONE! Get on your knees- fall at His feet- and lay it all at His feet- LET GO AND LET GOD! Drop off your baggage and give it all to Him and let Him replace it with much better things to carry around like peace, joy, strength & love!

Then begin to get up and praise Him! Shout for joy for all that the Lord has done, is doing, and will do in your life!  Every time I have ever been in a bad mood, or hurting- if I pray and put the praise music on-He has always completely lifted my spirit and set my feet back on the solid rock and gave me the energy and courage to move mountains of bad moods and the situations that created them!

Now here are some other things you can do, but these are just for fun- the first two steps are non-negotiable,  unavoidable, cannot skip them, a MUST do!  These are just some you can choose from to continue to enjoy your day after being put back in sync by the amazing Savior!

*eat chocolate- now if you are like me and seem to lack self- control and instead of eating just a bit- end up finding that a bag (and I mean big bag, not single pack) of M&Ms is suddenly gone and there is no one else in the house to blame that on....then you might want to skip this suggestion!! LOL

*watch a comedy like The Proposal- I don't care how many times I have seen that- sooooo hilarious! And...hey watching Ryan Reynolds- another mood enhancer!! And when you get to the chanting in the woods part- YOU HAVE TO GET UP AND SHAKE IT!! That will cheer you right up!!  You can also put in the Christian comedian Chonda Pierce-she will make you laugh until you hurt! I am putting her into today!

*GET UP AND SHAKE IT! (as stated above) Dancing always causes my mood to mellow out and then once I really get going- gives me energy and brings happiness and smiles (or laughter if you have seen some of my moves)!  I love to dance!! My boys and I all do, so this step is always going on in our house if you need to stop on by Club Christina to shake your groove thang with us! I would list some song suggestions, but I would hate to have some judge my taste in music, as stated earlier I already have enough casting stones going on in my life....but I do know that Salt-n-Peppa said it best, "There's only one true judge and that's God, so chill and let my Father do His job"! :)  He knows my heart and His view of me is the only one that matters! I do all things for Him and His glory and as much as I love people, and will continue to love people, and...we know I will continue to talk, lol, I know that my confidence comes from Christ alone and you can throw stones all you want, by my Savior has a shield around me and allows me to stand firm in His presence no matter what situations are stirring up trouble in my life!!!!

OK, well....I guess that is my second post today...lol..that is what I love about this blog- I just start typing/writing in this journal of mine, and allow God to work through me and teach me, change me, mold me...gotta love it!

*you can also try these suggestions (they work for me): going to the beach, going to an aquarium, playing games with family and friends, paint, take a bubble bath, exercise, go to The Cheesecake Factory (lol- well I guess this step should be mentioned before the exercise because then you will need to exercise after the indulgence), talking of course always works for me too- so go have brunch with a buddy- which is what I am  on my way to do now! Soooo....

I hope you have a great day today! Always seek God first....all else will work out!

And the Winner Is...

The award for most encouraging scene from in a motion picture goes to....
The Death Crawl scene from Facing the Giants

The award for the most challenging scene in a motion picture goes to...
The Death Crawl scene from Facing the Giants

The award for the most motivating scene in a motion picture goes to...
The Death Crawl scene from Facing the Giants

The award for the scene that- makes me weep no matter how many times I watch it and reminds me that with Christ I can get to the end zone no matter how much excruciating pain I have to endure or no matter how many obstacles I have to navigate; with Christ as my joy and strength I can do all things- goes to...
The Death Crawl scene from Facing the Giants!

Yes...I  watched Facing the Giants last night. It has been that kind of month and I needed that movie. I have seen it so many times and yet every time I watch it....I bawl my eyes out the entire movie and just want to jump up and cheer- ready to take on the world knowing that when it comes to all these battles with the enemy-
The winner is....
JESUS AND CHRISTINA!!
Applause please :) Sing with shouts of joy and praise because we got this! I'm taking my trophy home and that is one thing I will proudly dust and keep shining; remembering daily that we already win- so take a deep breath and enter the scene of life- facing it with my award winning grin!

Every scene from that movie were exactly the words I desperately needed, just the reminders I had to hear- NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE WITH GOD AND I WILL PRAISE HIM WHEN I WIN AND PRAISE HIM WHEN I LOSE!

I won't go into too much more because YOU MUST WATCH THAT MOVIE if you have not seen it! I think I am going to have to play the death crawl scene every morning before I start my day!! I will let the main message of that scene and so many other powerful messages from that movie speak for themselves when you watch it...seriously you have homework- go watch that movie- the teacher is telling you to!

But, I want to share the powerful thought that the Lord just laid on my heart. I turned on my computer just now knowing that I wanted to write something on my blog- you see this is my journal and every time I write it is a time of reflection, learning, growing, seeking God for myself...and then as I write I also pray God will use what I have written to draw others close to Him as well. So, I knew I wanted to journal this morning- I needed this time to seek after God and gain His wisdom and peace- there have been several times that I am really not sure what the outcome of my writing will be- or what the message will be- or exactly what lesson God is teaching me is until I begin to type it it. Today is one of those times.

Imagining the death crawl scene and thinking of all that I have been facing this last few months, the verse came to me:
Matthew 11:28-30 (and this is Jesus talking!)

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened 

and I will give you rest. 

Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, 

for I am gentle and humble in heart 

and you will find rest in me. 

For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

WE DON'T EVEN HAVE TO CARRY THE WEIGHT OF LIFE ON OUR BACKS AS WE CRAWL TO THE END ZONE! WE HAVE TO LEARN TO LET IT GO AND REST IN GOD!!!!! 

We are already victorious so forget the weight (life's painful circumstances, all the worries, all the battles you are facing)- DROP THAT LOAD OFF YOUR BACK, Get up from the painful, thigh burning death crawling position- I mean, I am too old for that mess anyways, I will be 35 this month! (remember when we were kids and that seemed sooooo old? lol)

It is time to stand up and start RUSHING TO THAT END ZONE  AS FAST AS MY SHORT LEGS WILL CARRY ME- WEIGHT FREE!!! JESUS IS STRONG ENOUGH TO HANDLE IT- SO GIVE IT TO HIM AND "RUN FOREST, RUN!" (that movie quote fit here well, lol)

AND OF COURSE DON'T FORGET THE VICTORY DANCE IN THE END ZONE :)

The Peacemaker and The Pyromaniacs

Let's discuss this cliche:  "I'm at the end of my rope."
Well....what happens when you are at the end of your rope and then suddenly you are surrounded by pyromaniacs setting the end of your rope on fire, loosing precious strands in seconds...and each time you get one fire put out, then another person prone to starting fires lights it up again! THEN WHAT?!

When is enough- enough?
Where is rock bottom? Because I thought I found it and then....fell another 20 feet...and then another...
When do I get my superwoman cape- because I would be rockin' that for sure! Because if I am suppose to be able to bare all this, then I should bare the title Superwoman too! And get the perks of her super powers- flying would definitely come in handy since I can not afford airfare to see my family!!!

Which straw is the last straw?
Which stone is the one that has the final say in your destruction and doom. What do you do when every where you look you see the stones being cast as you are pleading for escape, only to be left in the dirt crying out alone, buried beneath the weight of boulders with your name and all that is wrong with you engraved in permanent ink!

How do you persevere with pyromaniacs leaving you no rope to hold onto?

You turn to The Peacemaker.

This is one of my favorite passages from the Bible, and one I think of often:

Philippians 4:4-7

"Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I say rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

Allow me to summarize what these verses mean to me and the present fires that I face thanks to the pyro people in my life-

"Rejoice in the Lord, always" - NO MATTER WHAT YOU ARE FACING, NO MATTER HOW MANY STRANDS ARE LEFT ON THE ROPE, NO MATTER HOW HOT THE FIRE- SING PRAISE TO THE LORD!

"Let your gentleness be evident to all."- WHETHER TO THE FIREFIGHTERS OR THE FIRE STARTERS- SHOW THEM KINDNESS AND SHARE WITH THEM THE LOVE OF GOD!

"Do not be anxious." - STOP WORRYING!!!!!!!! STOP SINGING "IT'S MY PYROMANIACS BURNED MY ROPE AND I AM LEFT FALLING INTO THEIR FIRE, PARTY- AND I WILL CRY IF I WANT TO" SAD SONGS AND JUST SING PRAISE SONGS INSTEAD (which goes back to the first part of this passage)

"but in every situation by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God."- STOP TRYING TO PUT OUT THE FIRES, STOP FOCUSING ON THE FIRES,  AND START PRAYING- TURN YOUR FACE TO THE ALL POWERFUL GOD WHO IS BIGGER THAN THE BONFIRE THE ENEMY HAS STARTED IN YOUR LIFE!
AND DO THIS WITH A THANKFUL HEART BY THE WAY! THIS IS EASIER TO DO WHEN YOU FOCUS ON THE FATHER AND NOT THE FIRES :)

And....here we go...this is just the most amazing part of that passage, in my opinion...and hey...since it is my blog- and I am typing this message out because I am speaking to myself after another long night of tears and turmoil....I am allowed to give my opinion :p

"And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
NO MATTER WHAT FIRES I FACE- MY FATHER AND HIS WONDERFUL PEACE TAKE PRIORITY OVER THEM! HIS POWERFUL PEACE REPLACES THE PAINFUL BURNS! AND ALL THOSE THINGS I HAVE FACED- JESUS CAN USE TO CREATE A STRONG WARRIOR WHO CAN PERSEVERE NO HOW MANY PYROMANIACS THERE ARE ON THIS PLANET!

So...even when all strands of that string are burned and I think I have no where left to go....I forget that I can fall into the strong hands of my Heavenly Father and find His strength to keep hanging on. His hands are far better than any rope in the first place! So, I guess I need to stop thinking of strings, straws, and stones and think of the One that can Hold me and protect me against all things! I need to turn to the One who even the cross could not keep Him from conquering the enemy! I need to focus on the One that death could not keep down! I need to remember the One that stood in the furnace with three Hebrew boys and rescued them leaving not even a trace of fire on them!

When we face fires or feel like we are falling off the end of a rope- we need to turn to the powerful Peacemaker allow Him to pull us through- BECAUSE THAT POWERFUL PEACEMAKER- JESUS CHRIST IS FIREPROOF!

Worship Warriors

Luke 19:47-30

"When he came near the place where the road goes down the Mount of Olives, the whole crowd of disciples began joyfully to praise God in loud voices for all the miracles they had seen:

'Blessed is the king who comes in the name of the Lord!'

'Peace in heaven and glory in the highest!'

Some of the Pharisees in the crowd said to Jesus, 'Teacher, rebuke your disciples!'

'I tell you,' He replied, 'if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out.'”

Now, I am a competitive person....I believe I have written about this before, and anyone who has ever played a game with me knows that when the game begins- the kindness comes to an end! LOL...just kidding...sort of. I just tend to have a big mouth when it comes to bragging about my skills at the game table! And my victory dances are a little over the top at times....and I am a bit proud to say that the apple has not fallen far when it comes to my youngest son on this matter...lol...although I will admit his dance moves are a little smoother than mine- but do not tell him I said that!  The point is: I do not allow others to beat me without a fight. The muscles come out and the mouth opens wide for retaliation! This is all in fun of course....

But I was just thinking of my retaliation tactics when it comes to the battle with the enemy....have I had my A-Game in tact?  Have I sent him slithering away in crushing defeat lately? Have I danced on the Devil with delight? Have I utilized the powerful source of praise in order to persevere in the face of persecution?   Or when my mouth has opened....has it only added to my destruction?

I was just looking up the word worship in the Bible.  Finding many familiar verses, I was reminded of the calling we have on our lives as Christians. We are to glorify an amazing, all-powerful God!  Even the name of Jesus sends Satan sprinting! Imagine Satan's despair and destruction when I begin shouting praises from the rooftops to Jesus- my Savior, my Father, my Friend, my Healer, my Provider, my comforter, my ALL IN ALL! 

In all that we say and do, we should be showing the power of Christ in our lives. Yet after reflecting upon my words and actions over the last few years....I think there are more times when I lesson His power with my pity-parties instead of pouring out praise that promotes powerful promises from a God who is more than enough to handle all my mess!

Reading through so many verses about worship, I remembered the verse quoted above and a song that stems from it about not allowing the rocks to out-praise us!  Well...I sense a challenge here....it could just be me though...but if it is me versus the rocks- they better be ready to be crushed into sand, because this shortie will sing praises louder than any little pebble- whether on pitch- or way off pitch- I will remember to sing praises to my Heavenly Father who has given His life for me.  I will proclaim His unfailing love, His faithfulness, His abundant mercy and grace and His promises that stand true every day- no matter what I am facing! 

Forgive me Lord for downplaying Your power in my life lately. Help me to worship You whether on the mountaintop or in the pit. Help me to joyfully sing Your praises even if I am facing persecution from every corner; as I feel like I have been this last few weeks.  Allow your love to shine through me even in the darkest moments in my life! I also thank You Lord for the awesome people that You have put in my life to remind me of Your promises! I thank you for all the ways you speak to me and remind me, not only of who I am- Your beloved child, but more importantly of- WHO YOU ARE! I thank You, Jesus, that no matter what I go through- because of Your amazing power and Your perfect plans for me- I can always do the victory dance- and You know how we love to dance in this house! I pray Lord that the words of my mouth be pleasing to You! Help me Lord!

"Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth. 
Worship the LORD with gladness; 
come before him with joyful songs. 

Know that the LORD is God. 
It is he who made us, and we are his ; 
we are his people, the sheep of his pasture. 

Enter his gates with thanksgiving 
and his courts with praise; 
give thanks to him and praise his name. 

For the LORD is good and his love endures forever; 
his faithfulness continues through all generations."

Psalm 100:1-5

WORSHIP WARRIORS FOR CHRIST

DO NOT BACK DOWN IN THE BATTLE- 

FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT OF FAITH

 WITH SONGS OF PRAISE AND 

POWERFUL PROMISES FROM 

THE WORD OF GOD!

Octopus Inspired

While at an over night trip to an aquarium with the scouts, I learned a lot of interesting information about sea life.  We got to stay the night at this aquarium and sleep in front of the shark tank! This incredible experience was not only a lot of fun, but very educational! The girls who taught/led this experience did a great job with the scouts.  Although, I did not get much sleep...but how could anyone sleep when enormous sharks were staring you down like a yummy appetizer all night! Just kidding, it was just so relaxing to watch them swim around gracefully all night that I will now never want to sleep in my boring bedroom again!

One fact that I found very interesting was that an octopus only lives for about 18 months.  They are born, grow for about 18 months, produce babies, and then die! What kind of life is that?! It seem to me that they have no purpose...

I am so glad that God has created me with more of a purpose than he did the octopus- although as a mom and a teacher, the eight arms would have come in handy! But God has great plans for my life, this is promised in Jeremiah!

'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans for hope and a future.'

I may not see all that He has in store for me, and it may get frustrating and confusing at times- But I know that I can trust this promise, and I know that when I cannot see, God can!  Our long drive to the aquarium was a scary, dark, foggy one over very, very long bridges (seriously long, thought we were crossing the Atlantic). The fog brought anxiety and fear to my boys since nothing around us could be seen, and the knowledge of being over deep, dark waters only added to the situation. And if I am honest, I was a tad bit terrified as well.  Riley said, I don't understand because I am praying for God to clear the fog and why is he not doing it?

I said, Riley God may not always clear the fog, calm the storm, or change the situation, but we must trust and understand that even if we cannot see the path- HE CAN! And, He is a powerful God who has us in His hands along this journey.

God has a purpose for our lives and as we take each step along the way, He also holds our hand guiding us to find His purpose. We cannot allow the enemy to trick us into confusion, clouding our vision of His plans worse than the fog over that bridge.  We must keep driving forward in the fog focusing only on the Father as He speaks to us, pours His love on us, and faithfully helps us find our way.  You are a child of God, wonderfully created with a purpose!

Sing Praise

I can sing praises to my Savior today, not because my circumstances have changed or gotten any better, but because in spite of my circumstances, my Savior has always stayed the same! He has always been faithfully by my side walking with me, carrying me through, growing me, strengthening me, and loving me. Even if I was completely unaware of Him, even when my faith wavered, He remained faithful to me.

So today I just want to count my blessings and focus on the goodness of God! Now obviously, I will not be able to type them all on here...the blog would run on for pages and pages, but I would like to give a good warm up list of reasons I have to sing even while the storm is raging all around.

* Riley and Brayden....oh, if you have ever met my boys, I would not need to go on with explanations...they are so much fun! They are so full of energy and joy that you cannot be around them for long and not smile, laugh, or just want to dance right along with them!

*We can dance!!!! We are healthy and blessed with rhythm and reasons to get up and shake our groove thing! We should hang a sign on our door that says: You must be willing to dance once you step through this door!  Because we are always having random crazy dance parties in our place! And, I promise you, no matter what situations you are facing- you get up and shake it with us, it will shake the stress right off and give you reasons to smile again! Or at the very least cause laughter to stir in your soul again  as you witness first hand our moves!

*I am breathing. Even though lately the words of this Lifehouse song are like my diary, "I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing, with a broken heart that's still bleeding."
I AM STILL BREATHING and that is reason to praise Him! I am still able to wake up and get out of bed and feel the warmth of the sunshine on my face as I step out the door!

*My Heavenly Father speaks to me in so many ways with so many wonderful reminders of his presence in my life. Like my last blog post, He spoke through a Secret Santa gift, He has spoke through  unexpected financial blessings at the perfect time to remind me that He is my provider!  He has spoke through a hug from a friend or help from a friend when I was in desperate need. He has spoken through songs and through His Word so many times to me as those promises bring hope and peace to my soul. He has spoken through book as he has challenged me to press on and praise Him as he daily prepares me for each battle I face, as He daily transforms me into His images, polishing me up to shine brightly with His glory! He is always there!  "Never once did we ever walk alone, never once did you leave us on our own. You are faithful, God You are faithful."

*I do have wonderful family and friends in my life. If I add more to this one, I will not be able to type through the tears....I am blessed with wonderful people in my life we will just say that and say thank you to all of you!

*I have been blessed with talents that I can use to build His Kingdom. With my writing, my painting and my gift of gab (lol) I can share His word, His love, His promises and His grace to all those in need! So Lord, please help the words of my mouth and my actions be pleasing to You. Take away the negative, take away the complaining, take away the hurt and replace it all with words of praise for You so that I can shout it from the mountaintops and lead others towards a Savior because this world is in desperate need of You! And even though I may not have been blessed with the talent of singing (therefore cannot live my dream of rockin' out on stage...lol) I can still sing beautiful (in Your opinion, Lord) praises to You so that all can see the peace, joy, and strength you provide shine through my life and all the circumstances!

*I have a job, we have a roof over our head, we have food to eat, we have clothes to wear, and we are even blessed enough to have things we want as well! We are abundantly blessed! I can cuddle with my boys in a big chaise lounge chair and eat sweet, buttery popcorn and watch a movie on a flat screen TV while being lazy all day because of the blessing of Christmas break! We are more than blessed and I am so thankful!

*I am so thankful for the Christmas season, not just because of the break, although I was in such desperate need of recuperation time, that this is a huge blessing, but I am thankful because of the true reason for the season- CHRIST WAS BORN! He humbled Himself and came to this earth as a baby born in a manger to bring hope to a lost world! THANK YOU LORD!

*Grace pours abundantly from Jesus, and I am in abundant need of it! He loves me.....oh, how he loves me! WOW....I have to stop because when that sinks in, it is just so overwhelming! Nothing I have done has kept His loving arms too far out of reach for me! They are constantly open for me to run into and soak in His love and peace!

*I have been blessed with the ability to travel- I love to travel! I have been able to go to many places. I have been chased by wild elephants in Africa! I have had really great trips with my boys. One amazing trip we were blessed with by this awesome family was getting to go ride Thomas the Train when the boys were very little, I can still see and hear their excitement! We have gotten slobbered on by buffalo and laughed our heads off with my awesome family! We are blessed to have really gotten to experience life! I cannot wait to see more of the world and enjoy every moment of my life with my awesome boys, family, and friends!

*"I AM BLESSED AND HIGHLY FAVORED, SAVED BY THE GRACE OF A MIGHTY SAVIOR!"

*I can see the smiles on my boys' faces. I can hear their laughter and their, "I love yous", I can feel the warmth of the hugs, I have the ability to think and understand things and be able to play games with them, and usually win when I play! (LOL) I was blessed with a competitive drive that keeps me pushing forward ready  not only to win at board games, but also that strong desire to take down the enemy that is trying to destroy this world. Even though I never like knowing the ending of books or movies- never, don't ever tell me the ending of something! I love the surprise! However, there is one ending I love knowing....I LOVE KNOWING THAT MY JESUS IS VICTORIOUS AND HE HAS ALREADY WON THE BATTLE- HE HAS ALREADY DEFEATED THE DEVIL AND THE DEVIL'S TIME IS LIMITED! CHRIST IS COMING AGAIN AND HE IS COMING FOR ME!!!!!!

I am blessed and thankful! Have a blessed day! Focus on the amazing Jesus and all His love for you!

They call Him Savior

Yesterday I was reminded of why they call Him Savior....

My faith has been shaken over the last few months. I had actually began to very much doubt the existence of an almighty God, an all powerful Christ filled with compassion for His children, a comforter, a provider of strength, peace and joy, a healer, and a Savior. If there was a Savior, why was I drowning in darkness? If there was a comforter, why have I spent the last decade completely alone crying myself to sleep most nights; no family near me to turn to, and no husband to talk to- just me- all alone every single night? If there was a compassionate Christ why would he sit back and ignore the desires of my heart, my cries, my prayers, and allow the pain to deepen with each passing day? If there was an all powerful God, then why would He sit back on His throne and watch as a school full of precious children were brutally murdered?  If there was a healer, then why did I pray with my boys every night powerful prayers for my cousin's wife to be healed of cancer, only to hear that she lost the battle?

How can I read promises of provided strength when I can barely even crawl out of bed lately? I feel broken beyond repair; I have been in a place where joy and peace are found in the same place as the "happily ever afters"- they are in the out of reach fairy tales. The darkness has devoured and destroyed all that I ever was and all that I ever believed in. I have lost sight of myself and more importantly I have lost sight of the one they call Savior. It has gotten worse when even those closest to me have now turned against me....no longer there to lean on or share my heart and hurt with. Therefore, I am again questioning God's plan and why I am left to pick up the pieces of my life alone. I apparently just throw a good dramatic pity party, but when you walk every day through thick fog trying desperately to see a nail-scarred hand reaching out to you to pull you through, yet only to find the fog thicken, the walk turn into a steep upward climb, and no one in sight to assist you in the journey- it gets exhausting.

I cannot even really share many of my other struggles, but they are there and lately too heavy to bare. I have tried to continue to seek the face of this Savior, crying out to Him, praying each night with my boys hoping that they cannot see that mommy is becoming lost. I want so badly to believe the words I paint across these canvases, "I am wonderfully made" and it is by a God who loves me, a God who is there for me, a God who has great plans for me, and a God who is real. I pray these things for those I make the paintings for; I want them to always walk in confidence and know that God is always there loving them and believing in them. However these last few months, I have come too close to giving up and not believing it for myself.

But yesterday, I was reminded that when you call on Jesus- you don't get a busy signal. When you seek after Him, He does not hide. When you need Him, you are not put on hold. Even if you cannot see, even if you cannot hear, even if you can not feel- HE HAS AND WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU.

My secret Santa delivered the final gift to me yesterday and when I opened it, I tried very hard not to break down bawling at our work party. Her gift was a reminder from a Savior that he is still in the business of saving me...I just need to continue to believe.

The plaque read:

FAITH

Faith makes things possible,

not easy.

No, life is not easy- you don't even have to turn on the tragic news to know that, but you do need to turn to the Word of God to know that you are never alone-no matter how badly you feel that way.  He is there and He does have perfect plans for you no matter what you are facing; He can use your circumstances for good and He will build you up in your faith.  

I have always liked a good battle, a good game- I am not one for a shut-out. I like it when an underdog can have an amazing comeback....well....it is comeback time and this warrior princess is very much prepared and armed for battle. I may have been broken and bruised, but I am not barren of power to destroy the darkness. I am armed with faith; faith that may have been shaken, but a faith that, even if small, can move mountains!  A faith that believes in a God that turns the impossible to possible. A faith being built like a strong fortress because of the battles I  face.  A faith that knows why they call Jesus a Savior-

because when I was lost- He saved me!