if you're happy and you know it....

ARE YOU CLAPPING???

Yes, apparently I have kid's songs stuck in my head based on these last two blogs...lol, but I went to bed with this one on my mind.

"If you're happy and you know it, then your face will surly show it. If you're happy and you know it clap your hands."

Hmmmm...I had to ask myself, does my face show the joy of the Lord?

Or does my face show the stress and strain of life?
Does it showcase my pathetic loneliness?
Does it take upon the form of bitterness and pain?
Does it reek with disgust?
Or...does is radiate with love?

What and I portraying to the world by my expressions and actions?

What are you?

itsy bitsy spider

As I was doing my hair in the bathroom this week, I noticed a spider staying in the same spot for most of the week. It never moved. It was a very small spider. The itsy bitsy spider was not climbing up the water spout...now you're going to have that song stuck in your head :)

He was just sitting in the same spot for a few days, and at first I thought...wow, must be a great life to be able to stay in the same spot with no worries, no to-do list, no responsibilities for almost a week!

But then one day, the spider had actually moved into the sink while I was brushing my teeth. The tiny little spider had to fight against all odds to survive as he faced the slippery, steep slope of the sink which was almost too much for him to handle as the current of splashing, rushing water rose in strong efforts to pull it in to the depths of the dark drain!

My thoughts...I bet he wishes he would have just stayed on his spot on the wall!

But...

I thought over the years of my life....

Staying in one safe spot also never amounts to anything. It may be safe, but it never allows for growth, adventure, excitement, precious moments that you wish you could pause forever, moments that take your breath away, joyful moments, silly moments, dancing moments, praising God moments, and falling in love moments...

Don't move equals don't live. Not living equals not feeling alive! I'm not just talking a heartbeat....I'm talking about enjoying the abundant life that God has planned for us!

The spider may have hated that moment in the sink...but think of how he felt when he made it out....VICTORIOUS!

We may go through a lot of mess...but "greater is He that is in me, than he that is in the world"....with God in us we can take on the battle with full force and come out a better person because of it. Life can be hard, but we can still....just enjoy the ride!

What the World Needs Now...is Love Sweet Love

Cleaning my room, major spring cleaning, I found my journal from 1992-1997. It was some interesting reading!! I have not changed much! I was rambling on and on and on about so many random topics firing in from various directions like cannon balls attacking, exploding, doing their damage, but then moving on without notice.

But can you guess what the main topic of a young girl's journal was??? Yes...love!

Pages were filled with details of love; hand holding while walking around a camp ground under the stars, trips to Sea World getting soaked by Shamoo together, surprising him by driving hours to see him, little kisses goodnight making me the "happiest person", sharing intimate secrets about my life with him...worried it would change the way he felt, but it only drawing us closer, having a picnic and playing cards on the beach...well if you can call Lake Erie a beach...after living in NC...um-NO, playing mini-golf together--beating him at mini-golf! So many joyous times, bubbling over with excitement as I experienced the pleasures of dating, falling in love, and growing together with a special guy....

Why do we lose that innocence so quickly?
Why do we spend more time fighting with people we love instead of just enjoying small, special moments such as those above?
Why do we hold on to bitterness instead of hold hands by a lake laughing and learning about each other, and thinking of words we can say to let each other know how special they are?
Why do we not try to love more than we hate?
Why do we hurt, and insult, and tear others down, instead of just giggle and stare endlessly into the eyes of one we love?
Why do we not just appreciate what we are blessed with?

Appreciate the one you are with! Make sure the one you are with appreciates you as well. When he comes up behind you, and wraps his arms around you, and whispers sweet things in your ear...cherish that, and do everything you can to hold on to the innocence and excitement of love....

Because you could be alone.
You could be filled with negative bitterness.
You could be wishing just for one touch...just a brush of his hand across yours.
You could be so full of insecurities that you can't see past your own ugliness in order to except love.

If you have someone who loves you...you are blessed. Realize it.

If your relationship is being torn to shreds, and a bowlful of bitterness, and a dish of disdain seems to be what is for dinner every night; then I pray that God will once again be in the center of your home and family. I pray that God will restore your marriage, and the love and passion that He intended a marriage to be filled with. I pray that the barriers of communication will be broken down, and everything will be opened up and worked out. I pray that you will treasure the one you are with, and that the thoughtful little things will bring smiles to your face. I pray that you will once again have those amazing bursting all over your body, tingling feelings we once had as a young person in love!

Shake It Off!

Laughter truly is the best medicine!

I have been having one of those months...again. I am just very tired! I am a teacher assistant, and we are on the final countdown to summer break, but it can't get here soon enough. The teachers are done, the kids are done,and we need to be done! And here in NC, summer weather is already here, which really means it is time to be out of school and on the beach!

But for me, the end of the school year also brings stress because I am one of those people whose jobs is always on the line depending on the budget. So, that is one reason I have been a little stressed and exhausted. Add to that: no paycheck for two months, I bounce my banking account enough that you can just call me Tigger...get it...loves to bounce :), and I have to deal with an ex-husband who will do anything to ruin our summer plans to go see family in Ohio, and be in my sister's wedding, and I need to lose ten pounds to make sure I can fit into that bride's maid dress, and my spray-on tan, that I really loved, has now worn off so it is the return of the white legs, and the boys and I have so long ago outgrown this shoebox of an apartment that it is driving me stir-crazy, and my "dating life",well seeing as how it is extremely dead...not sure life is the right term...but...my unusual experiences have inspired me to write a new blog...one that will defiantly allow for some good laughs...well I have to laugh, or else cry...and I am trying hard to choose laughter!

Which leads me back to my first statement....laughter is the best medicine!

When it rains...it does seem to pour! This line from Demi Lovato's new song keeps finding its way out of my mouth, and the boys' as well (we love music in our house): "I can make the rain stop...if I wanna...just by my attitude." So, as I sit here alone AGAIN on a Friday night playing Solitaire, the game made for lonely losers who sit alone on weekends...just kidding...well...anyways, back on track. LOL. I sit here and think: I can cry, and go to bed early, and whine and complain about all those things, OR....

I can find reasons to laugh and enjoy life.

It is so much better that way! So, I put in a good comedy, and laughed so hard I couldn't even drink my water because I kept choking on it.

Our mindset is a choice. We can choose to focus on the negative, and be miserable. Or we can live seeking after the positive, and be filled with joy and laughter.

So whatever you are going through right now...SHAKE IT OFF....and the best way to do that is: LAUGH SO HARD YOUR STOMACH SHAKES LIKE A BOWLFUL OF JELLY!! LOL.

Psalms 126:2
Proverbs 17:22
I Thessalonians 5:16

ABUNDANT JOY!

The joy of the Lord is my strength.

listening...

I love listening to music, I love listening to the sound of waves crashing on the shore, I love listening to the sound of laughter coming from children filled with abundant joy, I love listening to the sound of my boys praying, I love listening to the sound of an acoustic guitar outside on a patio while people sit together and praise God, I love listening to the sound of friends and family spending quality time together, I love listening to the sound of a mixer preparing a delicious cheesecake...
There are many things I love listening to, but...
there are also many things I don't like the sound of...
like an empty house, a broken heart, whining and complaining, the sorrow of a confused, hurt, and devastated loved one, and the lies that are whispered in my mind by the master of deception.

What are you hearing in your heart?

A liar telling you you will never be good enough, you will always be alone, the emptiness will never be replaced with joy, dreams are unreachable, desires are a lost hope....the painful negative words can sometimes seem as loud as a jackhammer and easily crowd out the gentle, but amazing, beautiful, and powerful truth that we should be listening to...

A Savior sweetly reminding us: He will never leave us, nor forsake us. And if we seek Him first, everything will be OK and work out for good. We are His beloved children, and He has created us wonderfully and in His likeness. He has great plans for us if we will just trust Him...and most importantly He loves us.

Not only do you need to listen to that, but as it speaks to your heart...you also need to believe it.

weakest link

Have you ever had one of those days (or weeks) when you just feel like you can't do anything right?

I am having a moment right now...and just want to cry my heart out.

Won't drag you into the details this time; besides, I am sure you can fill in the blank with your own feelings of inadequacies and sorrow when you are having one of those days where you can just hear the world saying "YOU ARE THE WEAKEST LINK!"

But I do know in moments like this, I can cry at the feet of my Father, that way when I am all cried out, I can look up...and I will see hope.

He is always there to wipe the tears from my eyes, and whisper promises to my heart to encourage me to continue to walk in faith and to remind me that I am a child of God and He has made me wonderful.

The pastor's daughters beautifully sang this worship song this morning in church and it is my prayer right now:

"The more I seek You...the more I find You. The more I find You...the more I love You. I want to sit at Your feet. Drink from the cup in Your hand. Lay back against You and breathe...feel your heartbeat. Your love is so deep. It's more than I can stand. I melt in Your peace...it's overwhelming to me."

If your having a "weakest link" moment...take your troubled heart to the Heavenly Father, and let Him replace the pain with peace.

For Love and Laughter

Just listing some RANDOM things that I just LOVE and things that just make me LAUGH:


Gotta Love: When Riley wrote me a note on my bed out of Wikki-Sticks that said: I love you. And then it said: For you, and had a bracelet made out of the Wikki-Sticks.

Gotta Laugh: OK, I'm Blonde and hear all the blonde jokes so here is one of my favorites: A Russian, An American, and a blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!" The American said, "We were the first on the moon!" The blonde said, "So, we will be the first on the sun!"
The Russian and American looked at each other and shook their heads, "You can't land on the sun, you'll burn up!"
To which the blonde replied, "We are not stupid you know, we are going at night!"

Gotta Love: Looking at family photo albums with the boys. Well...until Brayden saw an old picture of me and said "Wow, that is you mom? You were skinny!" Then don't make the mistake I did by asking, "Why, what am I now?" Because you won't laugh! I got, "You know...big." With emphasizing hand motions around the waist area. Ha ha.

Gotta Love: Walking barefoot on the beach, building sandcastles, and watching the boys chase the waves!

Gotta Laugh: I talk so much that people's voicemail even cut me off...it makes me so mad! I always yell "I wasn't finished yet!" Also Gotta Laugh: when your boys keep getting in trouble at school for talking way too much and you tell your friends and they say...wow, that apple falls far!!

Gotta Love: When the boys score a soccer goal! Gotta Love even more when on the way home Riley says, "I am so proud of myself, I went out there and believed in myself, mom!"

Gotta Love and Laugh: Watching the boys dance, especially when they did their own dance to the "Pants on the Ground" song!

Gotta Love: Singing praise songs with the boys, hearing them know the words, and worship God is awesome. Also, one night when I was tucking Riley in, he had his hand on my face and eyes close and was quiet. After a few minutes he said, "I'm done." I said, "With what?" He said, "I was praying over you."

Gotta Love: getting an unexpected, encouraging txt from a friend!

Gotta Laugh: OK, another good blonde joke...this blog is after all is called Random Blonde. Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench outside, and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is further away Florida or the moon?"
The other blonde said, "Helloooooo, can you see Florida???"

Gotta Love: When you try something new and accomplish it or enjoy it.

Gotta Laugh: Watching Friends. I have all ten seasons and still laugh like it is the first time watching it every time I watch them. But I Gotta Love: watching a TV show or movie with the boys and they get so tickled at something they laugh so hard and for so long, that days later they are still laughing and repeating the line. My boys always bring so much joy, love, and laughter to my life!

Gotta Love: Laughing with best friends. Gotta Laugh: Until your stomach hurts when you are on a kiddie roller coaster with her and she is screaming a death scream at the top of her lungs while the kids look at her like she is insane!! And your laughing so hard your crying...or else your crying from getting slapped and beat by your frightened best friend!! (love you Tina and I gotta love and gotta laugh every time I am with you! Don't worry she gave me permission to share this!)

Gotta Laugh: When you pray for patience and you hit every red light in town. God sure has a sense of humor :)

Gotta Laugh: When your child finds your tickle spot and shows no mercy!

Gotta Love: Doing something special for someone special.

Gotta Love: music that fits the mood, time to read a good book, getting pedicures and buying new flip flops, "kisses" from God, cheesecake to cheer you up, talking with my mom, daydreaming, a good workout, getting my new cooking magazine, having a good hair day, funnel cakes at the fair, and giant hugs.

Gotta Love: Living in the freedom of Christ and accepting His grace.

carry me...

Late last night, I was walking with Brayden to our car after an already long day, which was about to get even longer. We were celebrating Relay for Life day at school, and then we went to a high school to do the Relay for Life 24 hour walk. It is an event that helps raise money to find a cure for cancer. We had already been hanging out at the school for a few hours, and we were getting ready to camp out, but I had to run an errand so Brayden came with me. As we were walking, I could just feel how tired Brayden was as he was sluggishly dragging behind me while I held onto his chubby, soft, little hand. So I decided, even as tired as I was, to pick him up and carrying him the rest of the way to the car. Then there was the sweetest moment between Brayden, who is usually not very much of a gentle, snuggly person, and I. He leaned onto my shoulder from the exhaustion, and then picked his head back up, and so very gently kissed me lightly on the cheek, and then put his head back down. It was to say thank you so much for carrying me because I am too tired to do the journey on my own.

How many time has Jesus "carried" you through something that you were just too weak to handle on your own? How often has he picked you up when you wearily cried out that you just can't take another step?

When the burden is too much, when the pain to to deep, when the journey is too rough...we have a Heavenly Father who cares enough to pick us up in His strong enough arms and carry us.

But we need to remember, as Brayden did, to show our thankfulness...

Life is good. It all just depends on how you look at it.

HANG IN THERE!

"They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary they will walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:31

Do you feel like you are just hanging in there? Are you tired and weary? Like your fingers are slipping and your loosing your grip? Well...

DO NOT LOSE FAITH!

This verse is another promise for you from a loving Father who knows about carrying the weight of the world on His shoulders...literally (think of the weight He carried on the cross)...so, whatever you are carrying...whatever you are are worried about...whatever you are anxiously awaiting for...

LET IT GO, BUT DON'T LET GO OF THE ONE WHO IS HOLDING ON TO YOU!

He has it all under control. And when you stop trying to fix it all yourself...when you stop trying to control it all...when you relax about what lies ahead...when your release your burdens and pain...

YOU WILL LIVE A HAPPIER LIFE! YOU WILL SOAR WITH PEACE!

selfish weight

I have struggled with weight for a long time. I have went through the array of eating disorders. Right now I seem to be in the vacuum stage...suck in whatever food is available...lol... I have enjoyed my share...and other's shares...of a good box of girl scout cookies. I have had trainers and been on major diets. I have been tormented with mirrors. Weight is not something fun to deal with.

But lately I have been dealing with a different kind of weight...

In church on Easter Sunday we began to sing a praise and worship song that says: "I'm desperate for you. I'm lost without you." And I began to weep internally at the weight of the thoughts about way I have been acting. I have been very selfish lately. I have been desperate for a lot of things...

I have been desperate for a house. For a man...even just to be kissed and hugged by a man would be nice. For financial stability. For a career in writing an motivational speaking. For the boy's dad to get out of our lives (if you are reading this and don't know that situation...it is bad. He does not ever have their best interest/safety in mind) For this extra physical weight to just miraculously fall off and to be healthy and in good shape. I was really desperate to win that 42" flat screen at our school fundraiser.

I want, I want, I want, I want....

As I sang this song, I thought, Lord...I am so sorry; I know it is your desire for me to long for you above all else. This is something I know, have always known, but have not been living out recently.

Now, please understand that my desires are not wrong...well maybe the T.V. is being a little selfish...lol, but most of the things I long for are not bad things (and as far as my ex-husband goes, of course my first desire is that God change his heart, and he become the man of God the boy's need him to be). But....when my desires take precedence over my love and longing for God...that is when there is a problem. His word says to seek Him and His righteousness FIRST!

God wants to bless us and do great things in our lives. I know He has done so much in my life. And I am so very thankful for the abundance of His love and blessings. I know He hears the desires of my heart, and longs to bless me with those things as well. But...I must seek after Him with my whole heart first. I must let go of this selfish weight that I have been carrying around. Lay it at His feet. And focus more on loving and worshiping Him....then as the verse continues to say: "Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, AND ALL ELSE WILL FALL INTO PLACE"

Now that doesn't necessarily mean that a flat screen T.V. will just appear on my wall or that prince charming will be FedExed to my doorstep (which would be so much easier than dating at my age)....but it does mean that God has my best interest in mind and His will for my life will fall into place and my life will be full of His abundant joy and peace.

Give your desires to Him. You will not be let down living your life for the One who gave His life for you. He is alive and well and hears your prayers. Be desperate for Him and let all the other weight fall off of your life.

(I was thinking after I posted this that I left some things unclear...as far as the eating disorders go...that was high school/early college things I had delt with and I will share more about that later. Weight and image can be a dangerous struggle and I want to share my heart and what God has done in my life and is doing in my life. Also, dealing with the boys father, I again want to stress that I do want God to change his heart...as awful as he can be to deal with and as easy as it is to say I want him out of their lives....I am the one who chose him even when I knew it was not right. But that is in the past and God forgives and we move on. But I have learned so much about the power of words; therefore again I want God to do great miracles in his life so that their dad will be a man of God they can look up to.)

beyond blessed

My boys just came home from their dad's....I miss them so much when they are gone. And even though they were only gone a night this time....it was still so great to have them in my arms again. Although it was a sad moment when I asked Riley to come give me a hug, and he crawled up on my lap, and I realized he was almost too big to get on my lap and hold. He is 8....rounding up, that is closer to 10 than a 5 years old. Ten...that is getting into the two digit numbers...he is growing up! He just seems so big tonight when I wrapped my arms around him. Enjoying each day with them is a precious gift from God. Watching them grow and learn. Seeing their awesome personalities develop even more as they grow into strong young men. Watching their talents emerge...talking seems to run in the family as a talent...lol...but they have their own things that make them unique. Riley is into science/nature...loves animals, plants, rocks, ect. And he is awesome at building things...that kid can put those Lego sets together in no time. Brayden has a natural talent in sports, and anything requiring danger apparently...Mommy is hoping he is not a future stunt performer!! (but if that is what he wants...it will definitely help keep my prayer life active!) They are just awesome young men, and I am beyond blessed!

It's the little moments that really mean a lot to me as a mom. Our secret handshakes before bed. When we are dancing around the living room. When I am trying to beat them at games...lol. Riley telling a silly story, as his dimples show the joy all over his face. Brayden's bright blue eyes dancing when he is being goofy. They way Brayden used to call Riley "Brudder"...now he has learned to say his "th" sound now, and that has changed. I smile at their growth, but also fight the Mommy tears as I watch them change from toddlers to, soon enough, teens. (They are already too much into girls, and I am worried the "teenage" years are starting early for me...a little help please!!) So, I treasure the moments that Riley ask me to pray over him at night, or the way Brayden squeezes so tight when he hugs, and the times we wrestle...well until Mommy gets hurt...they are tough! I cherish the "I love you more than a million chocolate cakes" and cuddle times. I praise God for the blessings of my boys.

So many special memories are created everyday. Each day is a gift. Each moment, each new adventure, each small miracle, each joyful outburst, each sweet embrace, each outing spent with friends, each phone call from my supporting, loving family....all these things make up a blessed life.

And on top of the list of blessings: on this Easter, I celebrate a risen Savior. A heavenly Father that is ALIVE, and is always there for me!! He hears my prayers. He comforts my soul. He gives me rest. He loves me. He pours blessings down on my life. He showers me with mercy and grace. He died for me, and He now lives for me!

Do not allow the message of Easter to get old. As for me, I can watch some of my favorite love stories over and over, and still enjoy them. Easter is a reminder of the greatest love story ever.

"For God so loved the world, He gave His only begotten Son, and whosoever believes in Him, shall not perish, but have everlasting life." JOHN 3:16

Let your heart be filled with love and thankfulness for the One who loves you unconditionally and will love you forever. Count your blessings this Easter, and don't forget the number one blessing we all can put on the top of our list: the love of Jesus.

stick a fork in me....I'm done!

I am TIRED...weary, exhausted, worn-out, drained, fatigued, bushed, beat, used-up, and all gone. (sorry was having fun with the thesaurus...lol) But that is how I feel. The last few weeks have just been busy and the To Do List seems to never end.

Now we have had some great times this last few weeks. This weekend, according to my son was "the best ever!" (celebrating a friend's birthday and his; so good reason to be joyful) But it just seems like I have been pouring myself thin, and I am just ready to crawl into bed and sleep through spring break! And seeing as how it looks like it will be nice and warm; I want to head to the beach and relax in the calming but empowering atmosphere of God's amazing creation!

I NEED REJUVENATED!! I NEED ENERGY!!

But I have found (from trying far too often) that although energy drinks work...they don't last, and if you mix one of those with chocolate...you get a lovely buzzing feeling going on in your brain, you start acting a little goofy/hyper...and then you crash. That is not what I am looking for.

I need a source of strength.

I am thankful that these well known verses remind me where to look for what I need:

THE JOY OF THE LORD IS MY STRENGTH!

I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO GIVES ME STRENGTH!

So....even when the many things demanding my attention and focus pile on me leaving me dragging my sluggish body to bed longing to sleep for weeks...I need to remember where my strength and source of life and freedom come from:

"God, I need a refreshing renewal. I thank you Lord for all Your blessings and the joy you bring to my life. I thank You for always being there. For lifting me up when I am down. For carrying me when I am weak. For loving me when I am unworthy. For not condemning me when I am guilty. For sending me kisses from Heaven in sweet, unexpected ways in all that goes on around me, causing me to smile...take a deep breath...and enjoy this life you have blessed me with. But right now Lord...I am done! I am just plain tired, and want to forget all the responsibilities and troubles and chores (yes Lord I know the floor needs swept so bad that if you collected all the crumbs there would be a feast...but I am tired!) Help me Lord....maybe send Merry Maids or something please. (I am glad God has a good sense of humor :)
I just need you Lord. I need your strength. I praise You Lord for the seasons changing and Spring arriving. I thank You Lord for the flowers blooming and the heat rising...it does make me feel alive again and ready to get motivated! Just help me to focus Lord. Help me to keep my priorities straight....You first...and then all else falls into place! Give me rest Lord....good rest so that I will wake and be ready to tackle the to do list with the energy of my six year old! I love you Lord, and I praise Your holy and wonderful name. Lord if anyone else is feeling the same beat-down, worn-out, dog-tired feelings I am experiencing...be with them Lord. Uplift them. Encourage them. Give them strength and joy! In Jesus name. Amen."

p.s. the floors did get swept don't worry :)

Love Letter

June 2,2009


To My Prince of Peace,

I thank you my Prince for you devoted love; you know the very depths of my heart, yet you continue to pour out your love in countless ways upon my life. I thank you that in my darkest hours, you come for me. Your grip is strong as you uplift me. Your arms are gentle as you carry me. Thank you my Prince of Peace that when the hazy clouds of confusion come in to damper my mood, toy with my emotions, and destroy the foundation on which our relationship is established, You pass through with your sword and bring refreshing clarity.

At last I can breathe again, thank you my merciful Prince. Your shield of protection has blocked the intruders from further attacking the depths of my mind; for this I am grateful, my powerful Prince. My faithful and loyal Prince of Peace my love and desire are for you alone. I stand in awe of Your majestic beauty that outshines even the grandest of sunsets that fall below the horizon by the command of your voice. You are my love, oh triumphant Prince. Your words of endearment are what I long to hear above the chaos of life forever crashing in from every side, threatening me to fall in their destructive overbearing pits of darkness in which my fragile human hands alone are not strong enough to claw out of. But my honorable Prince of Peace—you are for me! Your fight is for me! The pain you have born was for me, my most loving Prince. And in return, I will live for you. What Your will is, oh Most High, as will be mine. May our hearts be as one my trusted Prince.

I will praise you and sing of your comforting touch. I will laugh with joy as your soothing Spirit over-rides all that once used to pull my shoulders to the ground. I will dance when darkness rears it’s ugly face, for it is by Your strength, my valiant Prince, that moves the rhythm of my heart. I will now stand, when once I was not able. For once upon a time the poisonous roots of insecurity were wrapped tightly around my very being; choking the life you created, mighty Prince. But not now! And no longer! For my merciful Prince—You saw me loosing life with every passing struggle—and You came. You came to me. You crossed through all to find me; through Heaven and Hell—to get to me. You came faithfully to my rescue my merciful and loving Prince. You came. Not with harsh words of condemnation, but with sweetly spoken promises. To remind me not only of who You are, but also of who I am in You. I am Your beloved. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I am precious in Your sight. I am created with a purpose.

And as for You my all-knowing Prince, you come whispering promises never to leave me nor forsake me….in my simple human form, I try to respond to this, “but in my weaknesses Lord….” But before I can finish my thoughts of unworthiness Your battle-scarred hand comes firmly but lovingly to my mouth to hush my troubled words. You promise again to never leave me and it is an unconditional and everlasting promise.
This and many other promises are made by You my loving Prince, My Savior and You write them in red letters of love upon my heart, so even if I feel You are absent, I can declare these powerful words from the mountaintops and in the valleys. I know Your truth is spoken for my ears to hear, for my mind to comprehend, for my heart to hold, and for my life to live out. In the promises of my Prince I will stand firm. For He did not come so that I may struggle alone, but so that I made ride victoriously with Him on His white horse truly living the abundant, joyful life. Oh, my Prince is the true writer of “happily-ever-after fairy tales” that really do come true. There is the “scary” parts of course, but I do not have to cower from them, I have a protector for times such as those, and He has empowered me with self-defense techniques which I can find in His words of truth.
I love you my Prince of Peace, and my prayer is that my heart would desperately and passionately seek after You alone. May I also experience deeper levels of Your love and wisdom; and as I seek You above all, then may I see Your promise that all else will fall into place.

As I boldly approach my Prince, I have one last request as I bring my love letter to a close. When I began to grow and willingly dive deeper into the depths of Your supernatural being, and my life begins to reflect the greatness of who You are, I have a great desire that I wish for you to take from Your lips straight to the throne of the Most High God. As You and I ride off on you white horse into the eastern sky, may we together grab onto the multitude of bruised and fatigued hands that I see trying to conquer the circumstances that reek havoc on those battling with negative, hopeless mindsets. Souls that were created by a loving Father who still hears their shrieking cries amongst the battlefield. May we, my peaceful Prince, take them with us? Please my Lord. The fight is not over yet. I wish that none be left alone to suffer; I know this is Your heart's desire as well.
Please allow them to look up from their defeated dungeons and allow them to see our hands reaching to them. Allow them to see Your sweet freedom that is available to them now! Oh, my loving Prince, let us fight together for them!

I praise You with my whole heart. I thank You for strength, for the joy You have filled my life with, for Your blessings that rain down upon me. I praise You Lord. I adore You. I stand in awe of You my Prince. And lastly, I thank you my Prince, for Your peace that passes all understanding. I love You.

Forever Yours,
Christina Gail

TGIF

TGIF.....THANK GOODNESS IT'S FRIDAY :)

THIS IS THE DAY THAT THE LORD HAS MADE, LET US BE REJOICE AND BE GLAD IN IT!

It is easy to praise God on a Friday heading into a beautiful, warm, sunny weekend....BUT....

We need to remember to praise God everyday: On Monday mornings, on cloudy days,on irritable days, and on nothing seems to go right days.

Like my favorite kids book My Many Colored Days by Dr. Seuss says "Some days are yellow, some days are blue. On different days, I'm different too." We change moods often....

But God is consistent. He is always there. He is always loving. He is always merciful. He is always faithful.

So even in our ever changing roller coaster of a life: PRAISE GOD EVERYDAY FOR HE IS WORTHY TO BE PRAISED!

when the stars go blue...

God speaks to us in so many ways it is amazing....

For me, one way He often speaks to me is through music because I love music and always have it on.

The last two nights I have been sort of down...not negative or in a bad mood...just some things on my mind, I need a hug, could cry for a bit, and then be OK type of mood....

So, I was watching One Tree Hill, (which of course watching a drama when you are already down is not highly recommended) and the song came on "When the Stars Go Blue". And one of the repetitive lines in this song ask, "Where do you go when you're lonely? Where do you go when you're blue?"

So? Where do you go to drown out your sorrows? I know the world has plenty of things/places/people to offer a "solution"....but when its all said and done..the sorrows are still there, the void is still painful, and the heart is still empty.

I know where you can go when you are so lonely the emptiness leaves you lost in a world of billions of people....

I know where you can go when the sorrow stings so deep you ache, and swear you'll never see the light of day again....

I know where you can go when the weight of the world on your shoulders pushes you into a pit of depression...

I know where you can go when you need comfort...

At the feet of Jesus.

He understands loneliness...his disciples fell asleep on Him at a very crucial moment in His life...and he prayed in the garden alone before His death.

He understands pain and agony...He pleaded with God in so much agony He sweat drops of blood.

He understands rejection...thousands yelled out release Barabbas and crucify Jesus.

He understands betrayal....hello--Judas.

He understands sorrow...Jesus wept.

He understands death....he bore all our sins on a cross.

BUT....He also understands love and faithfulness better than you could ever imagine....Jesus is there and will never leave you nor forsake you. Cry at His feet, and He will wrap His arms of love around you. Now, I have often argued that, well....I want someone who is actually standing before me to wrap their arms around me and love on me....but take it from this person who has been alone for a decade now, (well almost a decade, seems like a century) and has learned that there is nothing like the peace and comfort of Jesus. Many a nights I have "wept at His feet", and He has filled me with such peace the overrides all the pain...the circumstances may not change, but my heart is filled with His love, comfort, peace, strength, and also joy!

No person or place or thing can compare to the love and peace of Jesus. His love is unconditional and everlasting. His peace passes all understanding. His shoulders are big enough to bare the pain, sorrow, and burdons so....YOU DON'T HAVE TO!!

So...when your stars go blue...go to the creater of the stars. Go to Jesus and you will find all that you need.

It's Go Time Baby!

Recently the Nike slogan has been running through my mind..."Just Do It". My own six year old has his favorite saying with a similar idea, "It's go time baby!".

Both of these are statements requiring action...setting things in motion....getting a move on it....full speed ahead!

Are these slogans you can relate to? Or, do you find yourself holding back...at a stand still....dazed and confused...lost....settling?

I think we far too often make excuses, and just sit back; watching life pass us by....

As Nike and my son would agree...it's time to move forward and get actively aggressive in our lives.

Now, what came to me today, after Nike's slogan continued to bounce around in my brain for about a week....was the fact that I (and perhaps you) need to quit making excuses and JUST BE THE WOMAN OF GOD HE HAS CALLED ME TO BE! TO LIVE MY LIFE ABUNDANTLY-- WHICH REQUIRES ACTION ON MY PART!

God has chosen me. I am a child of His. And He has a purpose and plan for my life...to be prosperous and successful, and to be a light for the lost. So why am I just sitting around waiting thinking the following: I am not ready, I am not who He wants me to be just yet, I am too old/young, I have not fully developed my talents to the degree of any usefulness, I am not aware of my purpose/career in life at this time, I have messed up too much to shine for the world to see...

Yes, the old song "He's still working on me" is true....BUT...that doesn't mean while He is working on me I am to sit upon a shelf in some dusty, old, run-down workshop and just do nothing!!

God wants me to just do it!! To get out there in this world with my head held high and live out a life full of the joy of the Lord so that those seeking after something to fill their void will look at me...a christian...and say "I want that!!"
My pastor often states, Christians are the ones who are supposed to be setting the standards in this world...yet it is well known that the number one reason for atheism is: Christians.....
THERE IS A SERIOUS PROBLEM WITH THAT! HOW DO WE FIX IT?
WELL....IT STARTS WITH THE PERSON YOU SEE IN THE MIRROR EVERYDAY....

Are you just pleasantly living in a pit just hoping to hold on until the coming of Christ? Or, are you living your life as the aggressor force like my son saying, "IT'S GO TIME BABY!"?

I am ready to do the will of God! I am ready to live my life with a smile on my face even in the mist of sorrow, and dance in the darkness, and display a positive presence (not acting like I ate a bowlful of bitterness every morning), and I am ready to shout it from the rooftop that I have a reason for living and that reason is JESUS!

2 Timothy states that God does not give us a spirit of fear, but one of power, love, and a sound mind....

Stop being afraid of all those lies creeping around in your cranium that are holding you back from all that He has called you to do....know that God has already equipped you with what you need-- His spirit, a powerful spirit, to help you live life boldly before Him!

STOP HOLDING BACK FROM LIFE FOR FEAR OF FAILURE AND START LIVING KNOWING HE IS ALWAYS THERE WITH YOU AND YOU CAN LIVE IN FREEDOM!

Make a Joyful Noise

"Make a joyful noise unto the Lord"

This song just came to mind....and my response to that was....yeah, I am sure that would be better than the "waaa,waaa,waaa" He normally hears out of my mouth...lol.

As a parent, I often find myself getting on my children while they throw a tantrum, and then a few minutes later thinking....OK God, I get it...I throw my adult tantrums far too often as well...

How often do we "stomp our feet" and "throw a fit" when we don't get what we want? Or when things don't go they way we like them to go? It may not look as bad as when a child throws a hissy fit....but news flash...it is the same thing...

OUCH...I KNOW THAT HURTS...

It hurts me, too every time I get a God check on my attitude...

When we "pout" about life, we are complaining to God, and basically telling Him, "You just ain't getting it right God" Hmmmmm...I wonder how much He likes to hear that.....probably about as much as we like to hear the whining, complaining, arguing, door slamming, fussing, and fit throwing of our children...

I don't know about you, but it grates my every nerve to hear all that mess...
Now, thankfully we have a very loving, compassionate, understanding Heavenly father, and we can ALWAYS go to Him about anything. I am not trying to say don't be real with God. He knows all, and knows our heart, and wants us to go before Him with an open and honest heart. But what I am trying to say it that we need to often check our spirit, our tone, our attitude, and our heart...

Are we just always whining to Him? Or in the mist of being real with Him, are we also making a joyful noise before Him...one that He can take delight in? We are called to forever sing praises to Him, for He is worthy!!

There is always something to be thankful for--count your blessings! If you take time to notice, there is always something beautiful that God has created for us to enjoy, and hello--smile about! Throughout your day, God is there in all you do and encounter...praise Him for it! Let your heart be filled with joy, and share it with the world...I know...I was just thinking I sound like those women in beauty pageants that say, all I hope for is world peace. (I was just thinking of the movie Miss Congeniality lol) Well...what is wrong with that?? Nothing.

SO STOP COMPLAINING AND START PRAISING!

I promise...the more you do it...the lighter you will feel...and the happier you will be. When positive words are always on your lips, and praise to God is always in your heart...you will find you are living the abundant life God promises for you.

The words in the song "Take Control" by my friend Devin Williams always helps me with my attitude check times: "When I open my eyes...let Your light shine. When I open my mouth...let Your words come out. My life is Yours. My life is Yours" Also, repeat this verse, "Create in me a pure heart, oh God, renew a steadfast spirit within me" Psalm 51:10. When you find yourself in a slump...pray these words, and allow God to heal your heart so that you can sing a song of praise.

BE POSITIVE! MAKE A JOYFUL NOISE!