Cloudy with a Chance of Screw-Up

I believe we should have forecast for our minds just like they do on the weather channel...
Running across our forehead should be the day's forecast and warnings against any possible outbreaks of storms. We go through such an array of emotions sometimes as humans it can be hard to keep up. In my other blog, Once Upon My Bookshelf, I had just wrote about my favorite children's book, My Many Colored Days by Dr. Seuss and theme of this story is just that...we go through so many changes of moods on any given day, but...
"It all turns out alright you see, because I go back to being me." It is OK...tell yourself that after a bad day, a long cry, a screaming fit, a depressing day....relax and take a deep breath...you are human and it is going to be OK. Each day is a new day, a gift from God, make the most of it and let the past go...leave yesterday's bad day in the past and let today be a great one!
Now that was not I originally was going to say in this but when I start typing...just like I talk, I never know what is going to come out...but I hope that little pep talk helped :)

Now on to today's mood forecast:

CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF SCREW-UP.

Sometimes...and I am not sure if it is just my ADHD overactive mind or what....but my mind seems so cloudy I can't make out anything. So much going on up there it gets confusion and frustrating. I get a tornado of turmoil going on and it can sometimes be hard to find my way out for days at a time...

I just have so many feelings racing around and running into each other until I can't even seem to make out the dominant one. Am I happy? Am I lonely? Am I full of the joy of the Lord? Am I angry? Am I bitter? Am I frustrated? Am I overwhelmed and stressed? Am I just goofy?

This last few months that is where I have been...all mixed up.

Cloudy...

Which can sometimes lead to screw-ups...bad choices made in the mist of a messy moment.

My wants and desires and confusion and frustration can lead me off the straight path of God wondering off alone in the dark woods seeking after my own path but only getting caught in treacherous, thorny ground.

I am just thankful that God can still find me through the thickest cloudy days. His rays of light can break through even the darkest clouds, and He can lead me back home...He can bring peace to my mind and calm the storm of emotions...and He can even forgive me for getting off His path. His grace is sufficient. His love is comforting. His peace passes all understanding so that my forecast can now read:

Calming breeze with bright rays of Sonshine.

His Spirit can relax my soul and clear my mind to let the light of my loving Heavenly Father in so He can renew my mindset and give me strength for a new day with a clear forecast.

Romans 12:2 "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-His good, pleasing, and perfect will."

Peace

Have you ever felt like you were carrying far more than you can possibly bear? Have you ever had the weight of the world push your shoulders so low to the ground so quickly that even sinking sand would have seemed more pleasurable? How you ever felt like the world was against you? Have you ever felt that no matter which way you turned you were going to get punched in the gut with the force of King Kong? Have you ever pleaded for an escape, begged for release, cried in frustration and agony for peace?

How much more can one take?

Well...I know someone that can take it for you...

Going through this kind of inner turmoil as the outer world continues to rip you to shreds can seem impossible to get through...hopeless.

But no matter how dark it gets...there is hope.

His name is Jesus. And He is there at just the call of His name.

Now let me tell you in all honesty...right now I am watching someone take on turmoil from all around, I myself cannot even imaging walking in those shoes....
And as I type those words above, it is even hard for me to comprehend how someone can actually have peace during the depths of that kind of mess piling on them.

It's too much God, take it away from them please, they are an amazing person with a heart for you God...that is your child! Can't you hear the tears, the hurt, the pain, the stress? Take it away and replace it with your peace that passes all understanding...your strength that can give us the faith to move mountains...God the mountain's in this person's life make Everest look like an ant hill. It's not fair...yes, I resorted to even a childish tantrum...anything to get the weight lifted of their shoulders. I have even thought I may have to break out these massive muscles of mine and take care of some people! I just want the hurting to stop NOW!! Lord...help...please...

Back in February, in a post called HIBERNATION PLEASE!, I made a comment about day lilies...some people call them ditch lilies, they are my favorite flowers...so beautiful, vibrant....and they can grow wild in a ditch. I took this picture of a day lily in my mom's yard, and even with the few rough spots, the colors are so brilliant. It is a flower that stands tall and bold...it stands out among the ditch and the weeds...it rises above.

In these times of trouble that take the life right out of us...we can rise above...but only with God's help. He is our brilliance, he is our boldness, our strength, our shelter and our ever present help in time of need. He will help us to shine even in the ditch. He will create something beautiful out of all we go through and He will use it for His glory...if we will wait on Him and rest in His peace.

As hard as it may seem when you are going through something...I know from personal experience...His peace is there...just call to Him and accept it...let it fill your soul...let it revive you...let it give you breath to take another step...even if the steps are all uphill...you can climb with ease with Him by your side.

You're not going under...you're not being left alone...you're not forgotten...you're not going to be trampled to death...

YOU ARE A CHILD OF GOD...NOW GET UP AND WALK IN HIS PEACE. WALK STRONG. HIS NAILED SCARRED HANDS ARE HOLDING YOU....YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS!

Really? That was it?

So...I am here in Ohio visiting with my family and enjoying every minute of it. Now if you have read one of my other recent post, "Rough Ridin'" then you would have read about the ten hour trip my friends and I just took up here less than two weeks ago...good times! This is like a sequel to that one, so if you have not read it, you may want to go back...more so for ending of that story. Basically, I was unexpectedly flipped off a 4wheeler in a deep crik in the middle of the night; it was quite the mud-slingin', flip-flop loosin' adventure. But today as I ventured out into the woods to check on my long lost flip flop and see the site of our sunkin' troubles...I was a little shocked at the site of the crik....

Ummm......it didn't seem that big.

Now when I was flipping around under freezing cold water in complete shock to situation...it seemed as if i was drowning in the deepest ocean, but now to look at this lil' spot that I was catapulted in to...it did not seem like such a hyper-ventilating big deal as it did that night.

Isn't that how problems seem on the flip side of things?

When we are in the middle of the mess it seems...well...messy.
When we are in the center of the storm...we see nothing but stress.
When we are in the tough of the turmoil...we are tired and ready to give up.
When we are in the panic of the pain...it is nothing but pitch black pits for us.

But yet...the moment, the circumstance, the sorrow, the storm, the battle does eventually come to an end. Then we are left looking back.
Now I have found most of the time I can look back at these battles and think the same thing I thought standing before that crik today...."Really? That was it?"

Once we are finished with the fight, the fight does not seem to be as big as we thought (most of the time). We see that we made it through, we had strength to survive something that seemed impossible. Here we stand. Victoriously. Watching the rainbow appear after the storm. And we've become a stronger, wiser person because of what we have gone through.

My thoughts: why can we not remember when we go into a battle, or when we are caught off guard by a circumstance that God is in us, and He is our strength, and with Him nothing is impossible; therefore we are already equipped for the battle, and have no reason to fret, and fear, and hyper-ventilate like I did on my dark night in a ditch.
After repeatedly screaming, "Get me out of here!" my friend Danny pulled me out and put my feet (one bare-footed...sorry had to throw in my flip flop loss yet again) but he lifted me out, and put my feet on solid ground and at that moment I knew I was OK....

Well...Christ is our solid rock/our stable ground, and He is with us always. We can always know that we are OK. But yet, we find ourselves screaming in a panic or begging in frustration to our Lord, "Get us out of here!". Now, I am not saying this for you to feel any condemnation for how you react in a crisis, we are human...it is OK; even Christ asked in agony "Father, take this cup from me". I am just offering a helpful reminder that we need to know that no matter what we go through we can conquer it with His strength, peace, and wisdom; knowing that nothing is too big for our God to handle...so we can take on the "BIG ISSUES" confidently in Christ.

Just Jump!

"GOD DOES NOT GIVE US A SPIRIT OF FEAR, BUT A SPIRIT OF POWER, OF LOVE, AND OF A SOUND MIND." 2 Timothy 1:7

what's the point?

Do you ever just feel like giving up, and find yourself asking, "What's the point?"
Well that is where I am at today....

Even as I type this, I am hoping that by the end of my therapy session (typing and writing are therapy for me) I figure out what the point is; the scary thing may be...what if I don't?

That is just where I am at today...sorry.

What is the point of dieting?? I apparently have the body type that has to take drastic measures to become thin and I don't want to spend my whole life dieting...I love to cook and bake, and I am good at it, and I love food...
I mean, why can't I just eat a whole bag of powdered sugar doughnuts, and call it therapy, and it not go straight to my waist! What's the point of even trying if I am never going to be a supermodel?? I mean for starters I think they have a height requirement...and I come out a lil' shy of the right footage. Anyways, also, because I am short, any little bit of weight shows up even more, and right now I just feel like a short, fat tree stump. So, what's the point of trying to loose weight?
Now on to other things bothering me...hope you are ready for an endless ranting and rambling session...lol.

What is the point of working hard or getting a college education when you make no money and have to count out 200 pennies to get together $2 for a son's field trip?

What's the point of having hope for love, when love seems to be as lost as the city of Atlantis?

What's the point of cleaning....don't even need to finish that one...ya'll know!

And...I am also going through a rough time with the boys. I feel like no matter how hard I try, I am a horrible mother, and just can't do things right. I have two awesome, funny, lovable, talented boys...but why do they not listen to me. Why do they keep getting in trouble at school (yes mostly for talking and well....that's bad genetics.) but, today my youngest slapped a girl (he said it was because she slapped him...but that is no excuse!) I am just at my wits end. How do you raise two amazing, Godly young men as a single mom? How do you battle them going over to a father's house every other weekend that thinks he is perfect and above the law and pretty much above God himself, and who never puts the boys safety or best interest as a priority in life? How do you combat/deal with ADHD in your son, when you yourself have it, which only causes you both to but heads!

Ahhhhhhhh....mmmmmmmm.....hold on...I am taking a deep breath....

Thank you Lord...

Wow...I love that when you seek and ask....HE IS THERE....

So...here it is...His answer/His question to me...this literally just came to me during that quick breath...

"WHAT IS THE POINT OF WORRYING, AND BEING ANXIOUS,AND BEING CONFUSED, AND STRESSED WHEN I HAVE IT ALL UNDER CONTROL????"