Conditioning

"It is amazing what your body can do when you condition it." -ROTC Soldier

This is very true.  Seriously- we were created by an all powerful God, and we were created in His image- WE ARE WONDERFULLY MADE!

I paint these with the purpose of reminding others of this truth! I write about this, I try to instill this concept into my children and all children I work with and I daily try to remind myself.  We are wonderfully knit together in our mother's womb by a loving God who cares for us more than we can ever imagine. Therefore our bodies can do more than what we realize...we just have to condition them to do what we want. The soldier was talking about how at times they have to carry about 200 pounds on their back while out in the field...I could not even lift the 50 pound bag they had there as an example!  Being physically fit is very important of course...and I very much need to get my body physically back into shape!  I know I can do it because I had a trainer years ago who showed me that I could do more than what I thought possible.  I had a love/hate relationship with this trainer; when he said lunges- hate! (lol) But I did love how he pushed me and got me into shape.   We need to physically take care of our bodies yes, but today I want to focus on what we can condition our mind to do!

We are children of God, with this comes some pretty cool powers...and I am not talking like Power Rangers type powers (sorry boys watching that right now as I type), but even greater than that!  The battle we fight against darkness usually takes place in our minds. Overpowering thoughts of unworthiness, defeat, anxiety, fears- crushing negative thoughts- can slowly slip us away from our Savior if we listen to them. If we believe the lies we become devastated and give up.  So we must train our minds to think positively- it can be done.  We must load our minds up with scriptures that are powerful and can pummel over the opponent with ease!

I am someone who has to fight the negative swirling thoughts daily, my overactive mind does not let up easily.    But I know that it can be done- even for someone whose mind is racing faster than fighter jets and trying to weaken you until you are easily defeated with any circumstance that pops up. I just have to make daily choices to stay positive, speak positive, think positive, pray positive powerful prayers and live a positive life!

And even though I feel physically weak...have to get back to that training the body physically deal...lol..because of all that has been going on, I am actually feeling very positive about what all I am going to be facing this year.  Riley, my son, and I have been praying hard about this school year- that I will be able to juggle all the responsibilities of single mom and teacher better this year, that I will not be stressed out and that joy and peace and strength and laughter and love will fill our home, hearts, and minds!  These prayers are being answered!!!!  I have a Savior that promises to give me strength to do all things- and He is following through! He will do the same for you!  He has also been reminding me lately that He loves me and He is so faithful! He has placed people in our lives at just the right time to bless us- and I am so thankful to those people who have a heart that follows after God's ways! He has allowed situations to change in order to provide, He has comforted me, calmed me, and just loved on me these last few weeks in ways that have left me in awe of His power, grace, faithfulness, timing, and strength.  I have fallen deeper in love with my Savior this last month and I am so excited about all the great plans He has in store! You see,  He wants us to walk in victory and He is a coach that will do anything for us to stand firm in the battles and build confidence and faith along the way!  So begin to daily train your mind to listen to the truths in God's word and begin to speak these truths into your life. TRAIN YOUR MOUTH AND MIND TO STAY POSITIVE!!!

Condition your mind to know these truths:

- Jesus loves you!
     That's it. Period. No checklist. No criteria. No ifs, ands, or buts about it! He just loves you!
- Jesus is faithful!
     He will never leave you nor forsake you. He will provide. He will be there at the call of His name.  He will
     follow through on His promises!
- If you seek Him you will find Him!
     Seek Him with all your heart and He will be there!
- His grace will cover your mistakes!
     Nothing you do will keep Him from loving you.  When you mess up, you can ask forgiveness and MOVE
     ON! KEEP MOVING FORWARD! Do not focus on the past list of screw-ups the Devil tries to remind
     you of!
There are so many more promises in His word and so many more facts about His love for you.  Get in it and get focused on training your mind to believe these things so you can thrive in life :)

Mirror, Mirror

What are our children learning from us?

Lately I have really noticed behaviors, actions, comments, and attitudes of mine mirrored in my boys.  It is a cliche to talk about what our children pick up from us as parents, but this summer I have really thought a lot about it and have seen things that make me proud, and I have seen things that make me want to cry in shame.  I can teach the boys all the time how to react to circumstances, I can teach the boys all the time how to walk in confidence, I can teach the boys all the time how to speak positively, I can teach the boys all the time how to trust in God; but all that is- is talk.  Yes, I am a talented talker...we know that...lol...but what are the boys really picking up from me?  My actions.  What are they reflecting?  My actions.

For example, I am very tough on myself, especially when it comes to crafty projects and painting. I like things to be perfect.  I did not realize how much I pick on my own self and fuss over every minor detail- or mistake as I see them, until I watched the boys do it this summer on several occasions. But ain't I teaching them how to be positive and confident?  I can tell them all day long how to react positively to situations that do not go our way....but do they see me do this?  Riley was just so devastated and frustrated over a new 97 cent Hot Wheel car he just bought that is not working right; I was trying to tell him to let it go and pray for peace when things upset you or don't work out the way you want them too....but is that how I have reacted to situations for them to see how it works?  I don't need to answer that on here...it's too sad of a truth.

I am not calling us out as parents and saying we must be perfect or else our kids are screwed...well because...they'd be screwed!  We are not perfect parents...but...the good news is we do have a perfect Heavenly Father to strive to be like; He can shine brightly through us so our children can see His image above all our many mistakes.  And even though we live in a dark world that tends to mess with our moods far too often...there is more good news...this same wonderful Heavenly Father is DAILY TRANSFORMING us into His image!  So even though we make mistakes we can relax knowing that He is not finished with us yet and He is making us stronger and smarter each day!  Our kids will see that even though Mommy is not perfect, her Messiah is--and He loves her even with all her imperfections--and I want a love like that in my life, so I will mirror her faith in my journey as well; knowing that I may fall but never fail with a Father like that on my side.

I could sit here and cry about some of the things I have seen the boys do that reflects that bad Mommy that I sometimes think I am; which would result in a feeling of failure too deep to get over...OR I CAN FOCUS ON MY FATHER and allow Him to keep working on me.  I can pray for forgiveness for my faults, strength for this whole single parenting thing that is far beyond difficult most of the time, joy for the times my juggling efforts have failed again and all seems to be crashing down on me, peace for the moments that negativity and defeat are being poured into my mind like quick working cement ready to stay, and for wisdom on how to walk in His footsteps so that my boys are right there walking with us.

We do get things right as parents...so also I want to remind us to focus on those things :)  The dishes may not get done everyday, the red Kool-Aid may not have gotten completely washed off their faces before we went out in public, the strong-willed tantrum thrown at the restaurant may have provided a battle of the century for all the onlookers, and the meal you made that no one in your house likes might not make it to the Food Network Cookbook, but....we do get some things right as parents...so let us focus on the positive things only :)

So...I am reminded that my boys mirror what I do and as scary as this is...it is very beautiful thing...like when it comes in the form of bed time prayers that my ten year old has been praying each night this week...
Give me a moment...crying time....
Sweet tears are flowing as I think of his thoughtful words of prayers that he knows because...Mommy has been showing him some wonderful, powerful things about this Savior named Jesus.  He has picked up these things and has shown his faith not only in his prayers, but in his strong belief that those prayers are being answered!  He prayed one night for people to be healed because he knew about a girl from his old school that needed a heart transplant.  He prayed for her and then went on to pray for all those in the hospital.  He woke up the next day saying, "I wonder how many people were healed last night?!"   Not, I wonder IF anyone was healed...but he KNEW HIS PRAYERS WERE ANSWERED and asked how many!  So you see...he must be picking up something good :)

I just wanted to remind us as parents of our responsibilities in a way not to overwhelm us, but just as a gentle, loving reminder of the importance of what we show through our words and actions, and to pray for His life to be shown through us each day so that we can disciple our children to follow passionately after Jesus.

Just put Jesus first...He will reflect in your life, and in your children's lives, and it will continue and we will build up generations of warriors for Christ, not through our imperfections, but through His perfection in us!

Oh and P.S. GO GIVE YOUR KIDS A HUGE HUG AND JUST LOVE ON THEM :)  We all need some good cuddle time with those precious gifts of God :)

ATTITUDE

We are very quick to catch when our kids need an attitude adjustment.  We are also very quick to make snap judgments about others who need a personality repair.  However the mirror we look into can sometimes seem to blur the black cloud of bitterness, negativity, depression, anger, sorrow, spitefulness, or gloom that hangs over our own head at times.

Have you been there?  I am this week....just being honest. I am in a rotten mood. I am sure part of it is because my summer is ending and reality is settling in on a sour note, but I know that is not the only reason.  I am allowing bitterness about my irresponsible ex-husband to fester in my soul. I am tired of the fact that he gets to do whatever he wants to do and get away with it, while I work so hard and still don't make ends meet and still cannot get a house for the boys and I...something we want very badly.  He gets to leave the country and not pay child support for most of their lives, but I am stuck here under his control and cannot even move back to Ohio with my family unless I come up with a ton of money to fight it in court.  Yes, I guess I am on the life is not fair tantrum stage.  Those who know me, know this story well about my ex, for those who do not, I will not go into any details...well because it will just darken my mood even more, but yes...he does get away with doing whatever he wants and no one does anything about it.  He loves the control he knows he has over my life...it is one of the millions of reasons I left him in the first place, his very domineering, controlling, manipulative, deceitful attitude....but yet here I am....divorced for about a decade and still living under his domineering control.  The worst part is watching the two people that mean most to me in the world have to also deal with his disappointments.  And I will stop there...before I cry over it even more, or throw the computer hoping it will release some of the rage built up in me.

So....you see...I am in a rotten mood.  If a good friend can please come slap it out of me, it would be greatly appreciated.  Along with the anger, confusion enters the scene ready to contort my attitude even more. I have big dreams of getting a house for us, and having my family live closer so I can hug my mom whenever I want, and watch my sweet nieces grow up. I also want my dream of becoming a published writer to just fall into place so I can begin sharing a loving Savior with millions through creative writing dealing with circumstances that often fight for control over our life leaving us in the mist of chaos and despair.   Apparently I have also been in the begging why questions every few minutes stage.

Have you been there?  I am sure we all go through these stages. So how do we get out?  How do I strengthen my faith to the point of believing that God is the one who truly has control over my life so that I do not live in this dark pit of what seems to be an empowered ex-husband pressing the very life out of me?  How do I crawl out of that pit of strangling thoughts ready to destroy me?

Well, I think it starts with a simple statement of, "this too shall pass".  I need to know that feelings come and go and my mood will lighten, along with the circumstances I face.  But I also must take action...if I just sit back and relax in my pit, then it will soon become a lifestyle instead of a moment of weakness.  I have to fight back....and I have to remember who the real enemy is and fight back against him; not putting the target on my ex.....Lord-I need your help with that one right now!

How do I fight back?  The power of prayer, praise, and positive promises.

I need to get on my knees instead of on the phone complaining to anyone who will listen about my crappy mood.  I need to put the praise and worship music on and listen to the lyrics with an intensity that overrides that racket raiding my mind.  Then I need to allow that praise to flow to my lips and combat the negative with words of worship to a faithful Jesus.  Because I am telling you....with all the above mess...and whatever your story is that causes you to either slip easily into manic moods, or allows you to live daily in a destructive, depressive state of mind...none of it compares to the power of Jesus.  Just calling on His name can immediately bring a stillness to your soul that will begin to sweep away the stress.  I know this because of the millions of positive promises in His word.  Open it...read it...believe it...speak it...receive it...live it.

And on top of it all remember this: 
He will yet fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy. 

And this is found in the book of Job. If you do not know that story of Job...read it...it will make your day look better! I know my sorrows are little compared to what many face...but please still know that no matter how big your difficult situation is- GOD IS BIGGER. And He does love you in a way you can not even comprehend; therefore, He will get you through this...weather it is just a bad mood, a bad day, a bad past, a bad lifestyle, a bad situation, or a bad mindset- HE IS STILL BIGGER! So allow Him to not only lighten your load, but also change your attitude about whatever you are facing!  Immediately begin by praying, praising, and speaking positive promises into your life...if it helps....I am doing it right along with your right now! With His strength- we can do it :)

P.S. OK, I know this is already long, but I have to add this...I was just watching this dancing television show and the ballet dancer was on stage when someone trying to ruin him pulled the plug on his music.  This was for a major event that would determine a lot about their future...so what do you do when the unexpected happens?  It is all about your attitude.  He could have run off stage crying ashamed, embarrassed, or discouraged.  He could of became angry at the enemy ballet dancer trying to destroy him and let that take over his emotions.  But he did neither.  He told the audience to watch and imagine the music in their head and went on to display a top-notch excellent performance....before it ended a friend got the music back on and everything worked out.  ATTITUDE IS IMPORTANT not the situations you face...because you have a Savior to turn the music back on as long as you keep dancing joyfully in the mist of the mess.

Faith

I have been reading a series by my favorite author Karen Kingsbury, the Redemption series. I love her characters so much; I just want to sit down and have dinner with them, hang out with them, laugh and cry with them...well the crying part I do often enough while I read! Reading the second book, I was so involved in the story one night until I finally realized I should check the time and get to sleep because I was going to the beach the next day...it was already after 5 AM! I had not realized I had been reading all night!

The only frustrating thing is that I have already read some of her other series and did not know that I should have read the Redemption series first.  A few of her other series intertwine the Baxter family in them and they take place later on in life.  Well, this means that now while reading about the Baxter family...I already know the way some things work out later.  One thing that really annoys me is if someone or something ruins the ending of a book or movie for me; I love to be surprised!  So this was a little frustrating that I already knew that even though some things looked bad or looked a certain way...I knew what worked out and what did not work out; yet I still enjoyed the books so much that I would almost say they are my new favorites. (it is very hard to choose a favorite they all are so amazing)

The 4th book in the series has been a little different for me; I am going to try not to give away too much because if you have never read these books- you have to!  Therefore, I don't want to spoil anything :)  The events in this book are not things that I remember hearing about in the other books that I have read.  I was just thinking about this while doing dishes. I have not been flying through this book as fast as I have with the others, and I have been having a hard time with the major devastating event taking place....and I realized it was because I don't know how it turns out.

Hmmmm.....this was new for me with books...wanting to know the ending before I get there...and very concerned that it will turn out even more tragic than a Shakespeare play!  Even some of the characters in her story built around a very strong faith in God are struggling to believe that God has a happily ever after ending in store.  I am writing today to remind myself of some truths that I believe with all that I am....even if some days they seem to be clouded over with confusion, all I need to do is dive into His word, pray, and begin to praise Him; then it all becomes clear again...even if the ending is not in sight...the final outcome is.

Meaning that I know this; "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." 

Jeremiah 29:11

I also know this, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him." 

Romans 8:28

I am well aware of this fact also and pray that I will do better with it daily, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God,which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. " 

Philippians 4:5-7

And this is something that in the mist of negativity, and lies from an enemy that I have to claim hourly, "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength" 

Philippians 4:13 

and “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” 

Matthew 19:25-27

Then there is this truth that allows me to find comfort in the questioning of life,

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

John 16:32-33

I may not see what is in store for this character in this book and I may not see what exactly is happening in my life.  I mean seriously, will I stay single for another century before finally getting a "happily ever after"?  Will I ever see my dream become a reality and touch the lives of millions through my best selling novels pointing people toward a powerful Jesus and a hope-filled life like Karen Kingsbury does? Will God send a clear sign of where is the best place to live for the boys and I, and open the door for it to happen; or will I continue to be pulled in a tug-a-war act of confusion with no peace in sight? Will those I love that have fallen away from God ever find the nearness of His loving arms again?  Will I see loved ones healed from illnesses that are marked impossible and terminal?  The answers to these questions and many more may not be clear cut or plastered on billboards for easy notice, but...I know who holds all the answers and I know that all those promises above, and many more, are what brings peace to my soul, joy to my life, and love to my heart..  It also builds my faith and allows me to persevere.  Because what is faith?

"Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see." 
Hebrews 11:1-2


If we can see all that life has to offer, if we know all the answers, if we have no sorrows, if we are all powerful, then we wouldn't need Jesus would we?  Faith is being able to believe even when we cannot see...even when we don't know the ending of the book...or the outcomes of our lives...we must believe that He does and He has it all worked out for good and He planned it all out of love.