stick a fork in me....I'm done!

I am TIRED...weary, exhausted, worn-out, drained, fatigued, bushed, beat, used-up, and all gone. (sorry was having fun with the thesaurus...lol) But that is how I feel. The last few weeks have just been busy and the To Do List seems to never end.

Now we have had some great times this last few weeks. This weekend, according to my son was "the best ever!" (celebrating a friend's birthday and his; so good reason to be joyful) But it just seems like I have been pouring myself thin, and I am just ready to crawl into bed and sleep through spring break! And seeing as how it looks like it will be nice and warm; I want to head to the beach and relax in the calming but empowering atmosphere of God's amazing creation!

I NEED REJUVENATED!! I NEED ENERGY!!

But I have found (from trying far too often) that although energy drinks work...they don't last, and if you mix one of those with chocolate...you get a lovely buzzing feeling going on in your brain, you start acting a little goofy/hyper...and then you crash. That is not what I am looking for.

I need a source of strength.

I am thankful that these well known verses remind me where to look for what I need:

THE JOY OF THE LORD IS MY STRENGTH!

I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO GIVES ME STRENGTH!

So....even when the many things demanding my attention and focus pile on me leaving me dragging my sluggish body to bed longing to sleep for weeks...I need to remember where my strength and source of life and freedom come from:

"God, I need a refreshing renewal. I thank you Lord for all Your blessings and the joy you bring to my life. I thank You for always being there. For lifting me up when I am down. For carrying me when I am weak. For loving me when I am unworthy. For not condemning me when I am guilty. For sending me kisses from Heaven in sweet, unexpected ways in all that goes on around me, causing me to smile...take a deep breath...and enjoy this life you have blessed me with. But right now Lord...I am done! I am just plain tired, and want to forget all the responsibilities and troubles and chores (yes Lord I know the floor needs swept so bad that if you collected all the crumbs there would be a feast...but I am tired!) Help me Lord....maybe send Merry Maids or something please. (I am glad God has a good sense of humor :)
I just need you Lord. I need your strength. I praise You Lord for the seasons changing and Spring arriving. I thank You Lord for the flowers blooming and the heat rising...it does make me feel alive again and ready to get motivated! Just help me to focus Lord. Help me to keep my priorities straight....You first...and then all else falls into place! Give me rest Lord....good rest so that I will wake and be ready to tackle the to do list with the energy of my six year old! I love you Lord, and I praise Your holy and wonderful name. Lord if anyone else is feeling the same beat-down, worn-out, dog-tired feelings I am experiencing...be with them Lord. Uplift them. Encourage them. Give them strength and joy! In Jesus name. Amen."

p.s. the floors did get swept don't worry :)

Love Letter

June 2,2009


To My Prince of Peace,

I thank you my Prince for you devoted love; you know the very depths of my heart, yet you continue to pour out your love in countless ways upon my life. I thank you that in my darkest hours, you come for me. Your grip is strong as you uplift me. Your arms are gentle as you carry me. Thank you my Prince of Peace that when the hazy clouds of confusion come in to damper my mood, toy with my emotions, and destroy the foundation on which our relationship is established, You pass through with your sword and bring refreshing clarity.

At last I can breathe again, thank you my merciful Prince. Your shield of protection has blocked the intruders from further attacking the depths of my mind; for this I am grateful, my powerful Prince. My faithful and loyal Prince of Peace my love and desire are for you alone. I stand in awe of Your majestic beauty that outshines even the grandest of sunsets that fall below the horizon by the command of your voice. You are my love, oh triumphant Prince. Your words of endearment are what I long to hear above the chaos of life forever crashing in from every side, threatening me to fall in their destructive overbearing pits of darkness in which my fragile human hands alone are not strong enough to claw out of. But my honorable Prince of Peace—you are for me! Your fight is for me! The pain you have born was for me, my most loving Prince. And in return, I will live for you. What Your will is, oh Most High, as will be mine. May our hearts be as one my trusted Prince.

I will praise you and sing of your comforting touch. I will laugh with joy as your soothing Spirit over-rides all that once used to pull my shoulders to the ground. I will dance when darkness rears it’s ugly face, for it is by Your strength, my valiant Prince, that moves the rhythm of my heart. I will now stand, when once I was not able. For once upon a time the poisonous roots of insecurity were wrapped tightly around my very being; choking the life you created, mighty Prince. But not now! And no longer! For my merciful Prince—You saw me loosing life with every passing struggle—and You came. You came to me. You crossed through all to find me; through Heaven and Hell—to get to me. You came faithfully to my rescue my merciful and loving Prince. You came. Not with harsh words of condemnation, but with sweetly spoken promises. To remind me not only of who You are, but also of who I am in You. I am Your beloved. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I am precious in Your sight. I am created with a purpose.

And as for You my all-knowing Prince, you come whispering promises never to leave me nor forsake me….in my simple human form, I try to respond to this, “but in my weaknesses Lord….” But before I can finish my thoughts of unworthiness Your battle-scarred hand comes firmly but lovingly to my mouth to hush my troubled words. You promise again to never leave me and it is an unconditional and everlasting promise.
This and many other promises are made by You my loving Prince, My Savior and You write them in red letters of love upon my heart, so even if I feel You are absent, I can declare these powerful words from the mountaintops and in the valleys. I know Your truth is spoken for my ears to hear, for my mind to comprehend, for my heart to hold, and for my life to live out. In the promises of my Prince I will stand firm. For He did not come so that I may struggle alone, but so that I made ride victoriously with Him on His white horse truly living the abundant, joyful life. Oh, my Prince is the true writer of “happily-ever-after fairy tales” that really do come true. There is the “scary” parts of course, but I do not have to cower from them, I have a protector for times such as those, and He has empowered me with self-defense techniques which I can find in His words of truth.
I love you my Prince of Peace, and my prayer is that my heart would desperately and passionately seek after You alone. May I also experience deeper levels of Your love and wisdom; and as I seek You above all, then may I see Your promise that all else will fall into place.

As I boldly approach my Prince, I have one last request as I bring my love letter to a close. When I began to grow and willingly dive deeper into the depths of Your supernatural being, and my life begins to reflect the greatness of who You are, I have a great desire that I wish for you to take from Your lips straight to the throne of the Most High God. As You and I ride off on you white horse into the eastern sky, may we together grab onto the multitude of bruised and fatigued hands that I see trying to conquer the circumstances that reek havoc on those battling with negative, hopeless mindsets. Souls that were created by a loving Father who still hears their shrieking cries amongst the battlefield. May we, my peaceful Prince, take them with us? Please my Lord. The fight is not over yet. I wish that none be left alone to suffer; I know this is Your heart's desire as well.
Please allow them to look up from their defeated dungeons and allow them to see our hands reaching to them. Allow them to see Your sweet freedom that is available to them now! Oh, my loving Prince, let us fight together for them!

I praise You with my whole heart. I thank You for strength, for the joy You have filled my life with, for Your blessings that rain down upon me. I praise You Lord. I adore You. I stand in awe of You my Prince. And lastly, I thank you my Prince, for Your peace that passes all understanding. I love You.

Forever Yours,
Christina Gail

TGIF

TGIF.....THANK GOODNESS IT'S FRIDAY :)

THIS IS THE DAY THAT THE LORD HAS MADE, LET US BE REJOICE AND BE GLAD IN IT!

It is easy to praise God on a Friday heading into a beautiful, warm, sunny weekend....BUT....

We need to remember to praise God everyday: On Monday mornings, on cloudy days,on irritable days, and on nothing seems to go right days.

Like my favorite kids book My Many Colored Days by Dr. Seuss says "Some days are yellow, some days are blue. On different days, I'm different too." We change moods often....

But God is consistent. He is always there. He is always loving. He is always merciful. He is always faithful.

So even in our ever changing roller coaster of a life: PRAISE GOD EVERYDAY FOR HE IS WORTHY TO BE PRAISED!

when the stars go blue...

God speaks to us in so many ways it is amazing....

For me, one way He often speaks to me is through music because I love music and always have it on.

The last two nights I have been sort of down...not negative or in a bad mood...just some things on my mind, I need a hug, could cry for a bit, and then be OK type of mood....

So, I was watching One Tree Hill, (which of course watching a drama when you are already down is not highly recommended) and the song came on "When the Stars Go Blue". And one of the repetitive lines in this song ask, "Where do you go when you're lonely? Where do you go when you're blue?"

So? Where do you go to drown out your sorrows? I know the world has plenty of things/places/people to offer a "solution"....but when its all said and done..the sorrows are still there, the void is still painful, and the heart is still empty.

I know where you can go when you are so lonely the emptiness leaves you lost in a world of billions of people....

I know where you can go when the sorrow stings so deep you ache, and swear you'll never see the light of day again....

I know where you can go when the weight of the world on your shoulders pushes you into a pit of depression...

I know where you can go when you need comfort...

At the feet of Jesus.

He understands loneliness...his disciples fell asleep on Him at a very crucial moment in His life...and he prayed in the garden alone before His death.

He understands pain and agony...He pleaded with God in so much agony He sweat drops of blood.

He understands rejection...thousands yelled out release Barabbas and crucify Jesus.

He understands betrayal....hello--Judas.

He understands sorrow...Jesus wept.

He understands death....he bore all our sins on a cross.

BUT....He also understands love and faithfulness better than you could ever imagine....Jesus is there and will never leave you nor forsake you. Cry at His feet, and He will wrap His arms of love around you. Now, I have often argued that, well....I want someone who is actually standing before me to wrap their arms around me and love on me....but take it from this person who has been alone for a decade now, (well almost a decade, seems like a century) and has learned that there is nothing like the peace and comfort of Jesus. Many a nights I have "wept at His feet", and He has filled me with such peace the overrides all the pain...the circumstances may not change, but my heart is filled with His love, comfort, peace, strength, and also joy!

No person or place or thing can compare to the love and peace of Jesus. His love is unconditional and everlasting. His peace passes all understanding. His shoulders are big enough to bare the pain, sorrow, and burdons so....YOU DON'T HAVE TO!!

So...when your stars go blue...go to the creater of the stars. Go to Jesus and you will find all that you need.

It's Go Time Baby!

Recently the Nike slogan has been running through my mind..."Just Do It". My own six year old has his favorite saying with a similar idea, "It's go time baby!".

Both of these are statements requiring action...setting things in motion....getting a move on it....full speed ahead!

Are these slogans you can relate to? Or, do you find yourself holding back...at a stand still....dazed and confused...lost....settling?

I think we far too often make excuses, and just sit back; watching life pass us by....

As Nike and my son would agree...it's time to move forward and get actively aggressive in our lives.

Now, what came to me today, after Nike's slogan continued to bounce around in my brain for about a week....was the fact that I (and perhaps you) need to quit making excuses and JUST BE THE WOMAN OF GOD HE HAS CALLED ME TO BE! TO LIVE MY LIFE ABUNDANTLY-- WHICH REQUIRES ACTION ON MY PART!

God has chosen me. I am a child of His. And He has a purpose and plan for my life...to be prosperous and successful, and to be a light for the lost. So why am I just sitting around waiting thinking the following: I am not ready, I am not who He wants me to be just yet, I am too old/young, I have not fully developed my talents to the degree of any usefulness, I am not aware of my purpose/career in life at this time, I have messed up too much to shine for the world to see...

Yes, the old song "He's still working on me" is true....BUT...that doesn't mean while He is working on me I am to sit upon a shelf in some dusty, old, run-down workshop and just do nothing!!

God wants me to just do it!! To get out there in this world with my head held high and live out a life full of the joy of the Lord so that those seeking after something to fill their void will look at me...a christian...and say "I want that!!"
My pastor often states, Christians are the ones who are supposed to be setting the standards in this world...yet it is well known that the number one reason for atheism is: Christians.....
THERE IS A SERIOUS PROBLEM WITH THAT! HOW DO WE FIX IT?
WELL....IT STARTS WITH THE PERSON YOU SEE IN THE MIRROR EVERYDAY....

Are you just pleasantly living in a pit just hoping to hold on until the coming of Christ? Or, are you living your life as the aggressor force like my son saying, "IT'S GO TIME BABY!"?

I am ready to do the will of God! I am ready to live my life with a smile on my face even in the mist of sorrow, and dance in the darkness, and display a positive presence (not acting like I ate a bowlful of bitterness every morning), and I am ready to shout it from the rooftop that I have a reason for living and that reason is JESUS!

2 Timothy states that God does not give us a spirit of fear, but one of power, love, and a sound mind....

Stop being afraid of all those lies creeping around in your cranium that are holding you back from all that He has called you to do....know that God has already equipped you with what you need-- His spirit, a powerful spirit, to help you live life boldly before Him!

STOP HOLDING BACK FROM LIFE FOR FEAR OF FAILURE AND START LIVING KNOWING HE IS ALWAYS THERE WITH YOU AND YOU CAN LIVE IN FREEDOM!

Make a Joyful Noise

"Make a joyful noise unto the Lord"

This song just came to mind....and my response to that was....yeah, I am sure that would be better than the "waaa,waaa,waaa" He normally hears out of my mouth...lol.

As a parent, I often find myself getting on my children while they throw a tantrum, and then a few minutes later thinking....OK God, I get it...I throw my adult tantrums far too often as well...

How often do we "stomp our feet" and "throw a fit" when we don't get what we want? Or when things don't go they way we like them to go? It may not look as bad as when a child throws a hissy fit....but news flash...it is the same thing...

OUCH...I KNOW THAT HURTS...

It hurts me, too every time I get a God check on my attitude...

When we "pout" about life, we are complaining to God, and basically telling Him, "You just ain't getting it right God" Hmmmmm...I wonder how much He likes to hear that.....probably about as much as we like to hear the whining, complaining, arguing, door slamming, fussing, and fit throwing of our children...

I don't know about you, but it grates my every nerve to hear all that mess...
Now, thankfully we have a very loving, compassionate, understanding Heavenly father, and we can ALWAYS go to Him about anything. I am not trying to say don't be real with God. He knows all, and knows our heart, and wants us to go before Him with an open and honest heart. But what I am trying to say it that we need to often check our spirit, our tone, our attitude, and our heart...

Are we just always whining to Him? Or in the mist of being real with Him, are we also making a joyful noise before Him...one that He can take delight in? We are called to forever sing praises to Him, for He is worthy!!

There is always something to be thankful for--count your blessings! If you take time to notice, there is always something beautiful that God has created for us to enjoy, and hello--smile about! Throughout your day, God is there in all you do and encounter...praise Him for it! Let your heart be filled with joy, and share it with the world...I know...I was just thinking I sound like those women in beauty pageants that say, all I hope for is world peace. (I was just thinking of the movie Miss Congeniality lol) Well...what is wrong with that?? Nothing.

SO STOP COMPLAINING AND START PRAISING!

I promise...the more you do it...the lighter you will feel...and the happier you will be. When positive words are always on your lips, and praise to God is always in your heart...you will find you are living the abundant life God promises for you.

The words in the song "Take Control" by my friend Devin Williams always helps me with my attitude check times: "When I open my eyes...let Your light shine. When I open my mouth...let Your words come out. My life is Yours. My life is Yours" Also, repeat this verse, "Create in me a pure heart, oh God, renew a steadfast spirit within me" Psalm 51:10. When you find yourself in a slump...pray these words, and allow God to heal your heart so that you can sing a song of praise.

BE POSITIVE! MAKE A JOYFUL NOISE!