I am very full today, so my prayer is that as I empty my heart, God will use these words to touch your soul. It is a new year! A new beginning! I pray that this year we will remember what life is all about - it's all about Him!
It's all about Him and them! Lord, I have been selfish and I pray that my focus, my desire, my passion will be first for you and then for all your beloved children, your creation, who so many are crying out for love, yet are unaware of where to find the true, unconditional love of You and Your Son Jesus! Help me Lord, use me to show them who You are.
It's not about our circumstance, it's not about money and status, it's not about our hardships, it's not about our discomfort, it's not about our wants...it's only about You Lord and how I can show those who are hurting where to find healing.
I want to draw so much closer to You Lord. I want to stop talking....yes, take a minute to laugh at that one, those who know me...but it is the truth, I want to stop talking as much and start listening. I want to be there for my loved ones, my wonderful family and friends, and I want to hear the hearts of those crying out for a change and point them to the cross!
Help me Lord to stop being so selfish, cleanse me and fill me with Your love and passion. Take away all the ugliness, all the bitterness, the anger, the frustration, the confusion, the jealousy, the brokenness, the negativity, the worry, the doubt, the fear....take it away...."trade these ashes for beauty".
I have been non-stop cleaning my apartment this weekend, focused only on the frustrations of living in such a small place all these years...missing the blessing of where God has me...God has a greater plan than we can see and this weekend He showed me that in many ways. Like all the cleaning and rearranging, although it was painfully, literally-I have to do all the heavy lifting and moving all by myself, thankful I have solid rock muscles...OK you can defiantly laugh there, but...in the end, the outcome is greater than the pain....get where I am going...yes, we need God to do some serious cleaning and rearranging of our hearts and minds going into this new year...it will be worth whatever comes along with it, pain, discomfort, whatever you face...God is with you every step of the way using it all for His glory!
He has shown me that he has placed me where he has in order to reach other's for Him, so why should I pout about my discomfort or lack....when truly in Him, I lack nothing! He has shown me more about His precious timing on the desires of my heart...I would rather wait on God's timing and be fully ready for what He has planned for me...then stumble into circumstances that leave me feeling more alone than I did already, and broken, and unworthy. I would rather wait than get the long lost prince I have been longing for and then end up destroying the fairy tale with the insecurity that still fights hard to be a part of my life, or with the past bitterness still gripping my heart, or without the wisdom that God is showing me over these years I have spent alone.
Only God knows when we are ready for all that He has to offer. We just have to trust, and as my favorite worship song says, "worship as we wait". And- remember what it is really all about anyways- Him and them. I need to use the time God has given me alone to fully focus on Him, and be there freely to reach out to others in need.
I want my passion for those who do not know Jesus on a great personal level to be fully aflame again, and be there ready to show them the unconditional love of a Savior that has always been there for them with open arms of love, and will always be there for them. If you have not gotten a glimpse of this amazing love...I am praying your eyes will be turned to the truth of a Jesus that gave His all for you.
