Mirror, Mirror

What are our children learning from us?

Lately I have really noticed behaviors, actions, comments, and attitudes of mine mirrored in my boys.  It is a cliche to talk about what our children pick up from us as parents, but this summer I have really thought a lot about it and have seen things that make me proud, and I have seen things that make me want to cry in shame.  I can teach the boys all the time how to react to circumstances, I can teach the boys all the time how to walk in confidence, I can teach the boys all the time how to speak positively, I can teach the boys all the time how to trust in God; but all that is- is talk.  Yes, I am a talented talker...we know that...lol...but what are the boys really picking up from me?  My actions.  What are they reflecting?  My actions.

For example, I am very tough on myself, especially when it comes to crafty projects and painting. I like things to be perfect.  I did not realize how much I pick on my own self and fuss over every minor detail- or mistake as I see them, until I watched the boys do it this summer on several occasions. But ain't I teaching them how to be positive and confident?  I can tell them all day long how to react positively to situations that do not go our way....but do they see me do this?  Riley was just so devastated and frustrated over a new 97 cent Hot Wheel car he just bought that is not working right; I was trying to tell him to let it go and pray for peace when things upset you or don't work out the way you want them too....but is that how I have reacted to situations for them to see how it works?  I don't need to answer that on here...it's too sad of a truth.

I am not calling us out as parents and saying we must be perfect or else our kids are screwed...well because...they'd be screwed!  We are not perfect parents...but...the good news is we do have a perfect Heavenly Father to strive to be like; He can shine brightly through us so our children can see His image above all our many mistakes.  And even though we live in a dark world that tends to mess with our moods far too often...there is more good news...this same wonderful Heavenly Father is DAILY TRANSFORMING us into His image!  So even though we make mistakes we can relax knowing that He is not finished with us yet and He is making us stronger and smarter each day!  Our kids will see that even though Mommy is not perfect, her Messiah is--and He loves her even with all her imperfections--and I want a love like that in my life, so I will mirror her faith in my journey as well; knowing that I may fall but never fail with a Father like that on my side.

I could sit here and cry about some of the things I have seen the boys do that reflects that bad Mommy that I sometimes think I am; which would result in a feeling of failure too deep to get over...OR I CAN FOCUS ON MY FATHER and allow Him to keep working on me.  I can pray for forgiveness for my faults, strength for this whole single parenting thing that is far beyond difficult most of the time, joy for the times my juggling efforts have failed again and all seems to be crashing down on me, peace for the moments that negativity and defeat are being poured into my mind like quick working cement ready to stay, and for wisdom on how to walk in His footsteps so that my boys are right there walking with us.

We do get things right as parents...so also I want to remind us to focus on those things :)  The dishes may not get done everyday, the red Kool-Aid may not have gotten completely washed off their faces before we went out in public, the strong-willed tantrum thrown at the restaurant may have provided a battle of the century for all the onlookers, and the meal you made that no one in your house likes might not make it to the Food Network Cookbook, but....we do get some things right as parents...so let us focus on the positive things only :)

So...I am reminded that my boys mirror what I do and as scary as this is...it is very beautiful thing...like when it comes in the form of bed time prayers that my ten year old has been praying each night this week...
Give me a moment...crying time....
Sweet tears are flowing as I think of his thoughtful words of prayers that he knows because...Mommy has been showing him some wonderful, powerful things about this Savior named Jesus.  He has picked up these things and has shown his faith not only in his prayers, but in his strong belief that those prayers are being answered!  He prayed one night for people to be healed because he knew about a girl from his old school that needed a heart transplant.  He prayed for her and then went on to pray for all those in the hospital.  He woke up the next day saying, "I wonder how many people were healed last night?!"   Not, I wonder IF anyone was healed...but he KNEW HIS PRAYERS WERE ANSWERED and asked how many!  So you see...he must be picking up something good :)

I just wanted to remind us as parents of our responsibilities in a way not to overwhelm us, but just as a gentle, loving reminder of the importance of what we show through our words and actions, and to pray for His life to be shown through us each day so that we can disciple our children to follow passionately after Jesus.

Just put Jesus first...He will reflect in your life, and in your children's lives, and it will continue and we will build up generations of warriors for Christ, not through our imperfections, but through His perfection in us!

Oh and P.S. GO GIVE YOUR KIDS A HUGE HUG AND JUST LOVE ON THEM :)  We all need some good cuddle time with those precious gifts of God :)