Wonderfully Made

My desire and prayer is that as women (young and old) we will know our value. (yes and men as well, but since I am a woman, I am going to write from a woman's heart/point of view) Spending most of my life feeling the weight of insecurity and reaping it's side effects, I have a passion to reach out to woman, young ladies, and sweet little girls like my seven nieces, and tell them how they are "fearfully and wonderfully made" as Psalm 139 says. Often I pray that a Christ confidence will be firmly established in them so that as they walk through life, they do so knowing their worth and value in order to make better choices.

This passion stems mainly from my biggest mistake; a mistake the whole world tried to warm me about....but insecurity took the forefront of my thoughts and decision making, causing a blind eye towards Godly wisdom and the hearts of those who love me. I married the wrong man. I went to a Christian college, and towards the end of my college life, many of my friends were dating each other and getting engaged...and I was not. However the "mysterious bad boy" at work begin to flirt with me...and the trap was set. Long story short: I slept with him before marriage; which caused guilt, which led into the choice of marrying him. (that is a whole other topic of God's grace that I could easily go off on right now; I will later because it is so good, but I want to focus on finding confidence). He was/is a very controlling, domineering, degrading person; therefore, the insecurities already in me were magnified, and I spent several years feeling unworthy. I went through severe depression being married to the darkness. The devil was celebrating and comfortable with my complete lack of confidence and inability to move forward in life because of it.

However....my Savior sees through the darkness, and His light shines bright enough to find the way back out. Christ has been building confidence in me for the last 8 years or so since I left my ex-husband. It has not been an easy road...but I am so thankful for the journey. You see the decision I made out of insecurity not only effected me...but to this day it effects two very amazing young boys- my sons. When we make decisions without connecting with God and waiting on His perfect timing...weather it is because we are impatient, think we know better, or like the old me...feel unworthy of God's amazing blessings...when we don't listen to His voice...not only do those decisions effect us....they may effect people we love as well. I wish the boys had an amazing man of God as their father...someone that mirrors the image of Christ, but they don't.

All because I did not know my worth or did not believe that I was wonderfully made and deserved only God's best.

We as women must know our worth in order to clearly see what God has in store for us; for when we know that God has a perfect plan for us because He loves us unconditionally and wants amazing things for us; then we can stand strong on those beliefs and wonderful things can happen...even better than the fairy tales we dream of, the love songs we sing, or the chic flicks we watch!

I personally know the challenges of facing the mirror and finding a reflection that smiles confidently back at you. Along the way there have been a few times I have faltered and stumbled; allowing my guard to drop when a man told me I was beautiful...after all it had been decades since hearing it, but it did not take me long to realize that he was not God's best; seeing as how he treated me more like a free whore than a friend...excuse the bluntness...but I really want to speak right to your heart right now. If a man can not even treat you to a nice dinner, do something thoughtful or sweet, or if he can only talk to you when he feels like it; going months without even a thought of you, or if a man only wants what he wants when he wants it...then YOU DESERVE MORE!

I love this quote from a Karen Kingsbury book, "A man should pursue you like a dying man pursues water in the desert."

I am so thankful that this time around I quickly regained ground, and allowed God to give me strength to cut the strings and walk away from that...even as hard as it was because ladies...it has been so long that I have the touch of a man...it hurts...I literally feel like my skin is going to crack, and then I will explode from the inside as my lonely heart tries desperately to get attention...

BUT....I KNOW MY WORTH AND I WANT IT GOD'S WAY OR NO WAY!!!!!!!!!!!

Please hear my heart: first of all...if you, like me, have a past of ugly mistakes stemmed from insecure decision making...then know that hope is not lost...find Jesus at the foot of the cross, lay your mess down...leave it there...and pick up the crown that belongs to you because you are a child of a King; wear it with confidence and move forward into God's great plan for you!

If you are a young girl finding your way...the only way to find it is with Christ; allowing Him to daily remind you that you are His beloved and He has a perfect plan for you- yes you- the person he sees as beautiful! Let Him tell you those words that you long to hear from a man...and know that when He says them...He means them, and they are more than enough to fill your heart if you let them! Let your heart be wrapped up in the true Prince...then in His timing...He will send you a man of God that will pursue you in the right way and it will be more than you could imagine.

Know your worth and

Walk in Christ Confidence today!