What Now?

Have you ever felt torn in many directions and don't know where to head next?

I have actually been longing for a change...but I don't know if I really need one or is it just like my random changing patterns that pop up in my mind, and I have to move stuff around to find a new satisfaction...for example I change my living room around A LOT...it is amazing how many different things you can do with a very small apartment living room.

But I have been itching for a change...like I want to pack up and move to California just for the fun of it...or more real changes like I want to be moving into a house before I go crazy from claustrophobia in my apartment that we have been blessed with, but have long outgrown. Or I would love to have my writing career dreams actually happen.

So, I am not sure what I am feeling now, but I am so torn and mixed up. I just spent a great month with my family in Ohio. Now I want to move back home. I just wish I could take my NC weather and beaches with me, and I would probably be packing now.

It is not helping that I am sitting here alone in a restaurant typing away on my computer on the fourth of July while my family is all having a picnic back in OH. (I had to come back because my ex-husband wanted the boys for the fourth. But he did...get ready to sit down, I am getting ready to say something very nice here...he was very nice, and let us stay longer in OH than we are allowed according to out custoday papers and I very much thank him for that). So it makes me want to move there that much more. I know how bad my family wants the boys and I around. But, I have made a life here in NC and I love it here too...

I am just praying God will guide me and direct me...I want His will in my life. He has blessed me abundantly, and I love my life; I am very much enjoying my life. I am excited about where God has brought me from and where He is taking me in life. I may not know exactly what to do in life right now or what is going on...but I do know who has it under control and it is exciting...I was actually dancing around my apartment this morning just happy to be alive and to know that God has a plan for my life...even though I am unclear of what it may be right now...I do know that (and my pastor was talking about this today) my main job in life is to just praise God and let the world know how good He is!!

Living for Him is exciting! I am full of His joy, love, strength, and peace! And His wisdom...I know He will speak to my heart, and help me make the right choices...His spirit will direct me and comfort me. I need His comfort now...I know my feelings are mixed up today and unclear sorry...I am happy and in a dancing, playful, confident mood one minute, and sad, lonely, and missing my family the next. But it is OK...like I said, God's got it under control. I just want to praise Him. I cannot imagine...and don't even want to think about where my life would be without Jesus as the center of it! I am free in Him today to live an abundant life no matter where I am at! He loves me and Has called me out for a purpose!

He loves you too! If you are not sure where you are at in life right now...if you are confused...know that if you let God take control of your life...HE WILL NOT LET YOU DOWN! He has a purpose for your life. Be confident in that. Believe it! Live for Him and let Him fill your heart with joy, your lips with praise,your mind with peace, and your life with blessings. Who the Son sets free...is free indeed!! Free from sin, free from bondage, free from a negative mind-set, free from insecurites, free from fears, from from worries, free from anxiety, and free from your past!!! LIVE AN ABUNDANT FREE LIFE IN HIM TO DAY...THAT IS WHAT YOU NEED TO DO NEXT!! AND PRAISE HIM FOR IT!